A moment to share

When I was citing the list of `barang orang kirim`to hubby, he suddenly voiced out his concern (the same question he always asked anyway).

"Duit you yang kat A dah bayar ke belum? Yang B kirim yang lepas dah bayar ke belum?"

This is because he knows I am bad at asking my money back and I could be easily melt by the happy face of people who get their things from me. Mulalah I want to consider hadiah. But when I got married, I don`t have the privilege to sukahati aje bagi barang kat orang because I get money from him la and I see how he works hard. I feel bad if I used his money for other people. Even I feel bad using his money still up until now. 

It ruins my shopping mood immediately. I could either tell him the truth, or lie.

Like any other time, I chose the truth. I said.. "No they did not. I forgot to ask them any way" and not looking at him while answering.

He said "I dah agak dah.." and he listed all the things I buy for people when they were actually kirim at first. I feel bad. Really. But I don`t know how to open my mouth. That`s why I hate giving people loans :( Even to family members. When I feel that I am okay even without the money I lend to them, I started to let it go. Sebab tu la tak kaya-kaya -_-" 

Then hubby asked "If you keep forgetting, will you halalkan the money then?"

I feel the question was a trap. Hubby never encourage me to use money freely like that. For him, bersedekah ada tempatnya. I tried to show him how strong I was not to easily splurge money on people who can afford. And I said "Of course NO." Then i feel bad for them, I said, "Maybe.." Then, "I don`t know". I`m so screwed.

We were strolling that time, and suddenly he stopped and turned to me saying "Sayang..then how can they perform their hajj? You must think hard. If you want the money, you have to ask. Or be silent and halalkan" 

Once again, I was amazed by this man <3 div="">