A Scorpio

Snap this scene from film 'The Boss' 2016.

I ain't a redhead, but I am a scorpio. 

Many people told me that I am very intimidating (I assure you that's only my appearance lor..).

What else?

#Asyraff32

October..has to be my favorite month. 

For a bias reason, I was born in October. Not just that, the love of my life also was born in this month..also, his beautiful mother. 

As I gets older, I noticed that time gone by too fast. Everyday I promised myself for a better tomorrow, but again and again I found myself failed to use the time wisely. I found I missed so many great memories and the chance to make one. Do you know who is the culprit behind it? The demon call 'lazy'. Even at this age, I still lose in the war againts laziness. Astaghfirullahaladzim.. For this reason too, I shall not forgetting to leave the memories of the day my 'A' turned 32.

The spread of that day. It will always be a simple celebration as long as we live abroad like this. But still it is not the reason we are not celebrating the milestone in life, especially the day you turn older and healthy.

After 5 years celebrating birthdays only with 2 of us, this year we managed to 'invite' a VVIlittleP to memeriahkan majlis.

I thank Allah s.w.t for his health, his rizq that we can share together and above all, to be fated to be married to him. I have always lost for words if it came to making speech for this man. I hope he knows how much Lily and me loves him and want nothing more than his well-being and many good returns for the good man he has been.

Happy birthday 'A'. 

Fighting stretch marks

Assalamualaikum..

I have been postponing writing about this topic until I can really say that I managed to avoid stretch marks during my 9 months pregnancy. For that alhamdulillah..

This is my not-so-secret potion to my no-stretchmark pregnancy..

Weleda stretch mark oil..

In total, I used up about 4 bottles of this. I started to apply the oil religiously when I enter the third months. I need to mention that my pregnancy happened during the dry season; from autumn to winter to spring. So, imagine the itchiness if the skin at that area became dry. So, to those of you mommies looking for any means to fight stretch marks, maybe you can consider trying Weleda :) 

Remember, there is no remedy for stretch marks once they appear. What we can do then was just improve the appearance and..make peace with it. So, it is very crucial to avoid them at the first place. Till then, good luck!

Okayu

Okayu=rice porridge, was Lily's first meal.

Plus with the fact that babies in Japan start solid at 5 months old, she has shown signs of readiness for solid a few weeks before that. Lily is now 5 months and a half and I decided it's time for solid.

I'm so unlike many of you. I was so malas and not too keen to go through all the excitement to prepare her food. bahaha. My style? Just ask one person I know what to buy, which brand, go to the shop, went straight to the section and look for the brand that she mentioned, without taking extra effort studying the others. Coz you know, one brand that suits others might not suits us. But in this case I just make use of whatever I bought. 

The haul. (1) Pigeon baby food preparation set, (2) baby spoon set, (3) okayu set (pink box), (4) sippy cup, 5-7 months old, (5) a bowl, (6) cube trays for storage (not in the picture).

You know I was one of the left behind woman in the clique pretty much in every clique I belong to. So, before Lily I just listened to their story of raising their babies, so I did catch here and there and made mental notes from that. Raising Lily alone in this foreign country, these mental notes really helps. Now it's time to use another one, i.e. the first meal paeds in Japan will recommend is okayu. 

Okayu

The okayu set (in pink). The set comes with a glass pot, a dual-function plastic cup (pink) (to measure the water and as the mortar) , a spoon with dual function (to measure and as a pestle), a silicon fetcher.

I remember the ladies were talking about a small pot for babies' okayu preparation that is invented to be used in the normal rice cooker. So, mommies won't need to prepare the okayu separately especially when we only need to prepare the okayu from one teaspoon of rice. That would be mendokusai (troubling). So, that was the first thing I bought. 

The pot is designed to prepare okayu from 1/1-1/10 consistencies complete with a cup to measure water needed for each consistencies. So, for Lily, since she is a 'beginner', she'll start with 1/10 consistency. 

Okayu preparation. (1) We need our rice; cleaned and ready. For preparation of 1/10 okayu, measure 1 spoonful of rice and water (according to the measurement on the pink cup. (2) Place the glass beaker in the middle of the rice cooking pot and cook like usual. (3) Rice and okayu when cooked. Take out the okayu from the rice pot.

(4) The cooked okayu is transferred into the pink cup which also used as a mortar. Pressed the okayu with the back of the spoon provided. Back of spoon has rough bumps that helps to puree the rice beads. (5) the 1/10 consistency-okayu.

Lily's first feeding session. hehe.. she need a high-chair for feeding, her okayu in a bowl, baby's water in a sippy cup and..her favorite butterfly (which is so not recommended to have any toy while feeding).

Majlis Aqiqah dan Tahnik Lily chan!

Aqiqah; is the form of sadaqah and it is sunnah muakkadah (confirmed sunnah). It is believed that by slaughtering two sheeps (for boy) or one sheep (for girl) the baby will be safe from harm. 

Tahnik; is an act to stimulate baby's sweet taste buds by touching the baby's palate with honey or pressed dates. (For more explanation, please visit this link).

We were back in KL a few weeks ago. A lot in the list to be done for this little girl. One of the highlight was her aqiqah day. She is the only grandchild my in laws have currently, so I'd like to make a proper aqiqah for Lily and them as new grandparents. Oh yes, for us too..a new parent after all these years :)

I meant this event to be intimate and sederhana for us. And gladly, it went so perfectly well.

Here's a little sneak peek of the day:)

The goodies

We had fun discussing on the goodies cause everyone just had so many crazy ideas to consider! Finally mommy agreed to muffins, pineapple tarts, mixed nuts and buku surah. Mommy only paid for muffins and sticker. bahahaha xp Semoga murah rezeki penaja-penaja goodies sekalian :)

The goodies. I have to thank Lily's Wansu for managing this department so well. 

Majlis Aqiqah

Lily is..obviouly a girl :D So, we slaughtered one sheep for her. We decided to cook gulai instead of grill it as I intended at first. I was advised to do so, so more people would be able to enjoy the meat. Despite of that, the gulai finished only halfway the event because it was so so sedap!

Majlis was started off with doa selamat and selawat while daddy carried Lily around so all atuks and uncles can see Lily more closely. Then mommy took over and bring Lily to all aunties and grandmas.

Tahnik

I only knew that there'll be majlis bertahnik when it was about to happened -_-" alhamdulillah and thank you to Lily's Tokmi for arranging the occasions. If up to mommy...*blur*

Majlis bertahnik Ms Lily Aaira by Ustaz Subki.

The setting

Minimalis cradle for Lily Aaira with fresh lilies..buds >,< only fully bloomed after 2 days -_-" But, loved it anyway. 

Hardly have nice photos of Lily and mommy. trust me, this is one of the nicest >,<

Lily and mommy. Mommy chose white as the theme despite of her weight -_-"

Finally a parents. Pray for us to be the best parents for Lily.

Thousands of photos taken on that day..My brain and surprisingly my beloved macbook air -_-" hang kejap processing all the photos. It took me days and days to finish one simple photobook just cause..sigh.. #needthepropronto

I meant the event to be about Lily and that's how it happened and more. Mommy feels so content. Alhamdulillah...Lily is so blessed to be loved by so many people. Mommy hopes she will grow up and make us and these people proud :)

Busuk

First of all, I miss blogging. There are many funny occurrences happened all the time in my daily life. And each times I wished I get to sit down and blog about it. But, the old demon in me (malas) is getting stronger day by day. I don't like how my time have been wasted, so here I am, trying to leave something so I could remember the time before they gone unnoticed.

I shall start with a short story which happened so many times now that Lily is in our lives.

I love baby talks. I think I'm very good at it at the level at it sounded so annoying to the adults.  When doing baby talks we tend to make the words sounded so pelat like comel becomes 'omey' and so on. One of the words I often said to Lily to describe how irresistibly cute she is, is 'bucuk' (comes from the word busuk). 

I know that 'A' is so surprised looking at my new side. That I can baby talk to the level of annoyance. I think he could see that Lily responds to that so well. The thing with 'A' is, he is everything but fatherly. That was before he became a father. Now that he is, I can see that he is trying to copy what I did, like baby talks.

I made it Lily's routine to send her daddy to the door every morning. We tried.

So, one morning when Lily was still so little, 'A' is kissing Lily and keep saying 

"busuk...busuk"

I replied, "really?I didn't smell it? what is it?" while trying to smell Lily's butt and the surrounding.

After a minute then only I realized 'A' was trying to baby talk...and it was an epic failed.

Since that day and many occurrences that lead to misunderstanding on my part, he stopped baby talk altogether. And I must say, it is better this way. 

Meet my princess

Born on April the 2nd, 2016 at 11.09 a.m.

We named her Lily Aaira Muhammad Asyraff. 

#LilyAairaMA #BabyL #LilyA 

Behind the name

Phew..it was so difficult to give name to a person, especially when she is made out of you. After all the pain and tears, of course all you want is everything to be perfect for her. Especially for the name, the calling that will stay with her for the rest of her life! 

I have been hash-tagging her with #BabyL during my pregnancy journey. 'L' stands for Lily. I have been calling her Lily since I can remember. At first we thought that she is going to have only one name, Lily, that's it. But, due to some circumstances, we added the second name at the last minute. A very last minute which was so frustrating for me as I couldn't find a name that I like. After I went through the name suggestions listed by 'A' for the umpteenth times, I found something interesting; Aaira has the same meaning with Asyraff in arabic. It's like the female version for Asyraff, which means noble/ respectful/respected/honorable. 'A' likes the name Aaira because in Japanese it means superior love (Ai=love, ra=superior). Well, he has been listing names that has both Japanese and arabic meaning. It's like it is expected that his children will be raised here. That's how we both agree to give her another name, Aaira. 

Her hospital tag.

Her cot's label.
Rosli chants baby girl
D.O.B. Heisei 28, April, 2nd
Time 11.09am
Age when born 39weeks, 0 days
Weight 3014g
Length 49.5cm

Lily's first day home in her cot :) welcome home my baby :)

The moment I became a mother

*read part one: when the water broke

April 1st, 2016...7 p.m.

We settled in the labor room with our luggages. Yes, luggages as I was expected to stay in the hospital for 7 days. I was so optimistic, I even carry all my work thinking that 7 days stay would be so boring. Anyway, first thing first, I was asked to change into a labor dress, which is a very cute pink knee-length dress. Then the midwife strapped me on the bed with ctg to monitor baby's heartbeat and contractions. So, I was expected to stay on the bed until...well, the baby decided to come out. Then, the midwife handed us a huge bag full with supplies like varieties of maternity pads and some baby's stuffs. 

'A', who just recovered from influenza and the midwife who welcomed us. 

The woman in labor.

I was so hungry by the time I settled on the bed. I used to have dinner at 6, and then it was already 7p.m. So, 'A' left to buy some dinner and went home to get things that we forgot to bring. By 7.30, he came back to me and we had dinner together. That time, I can still laugh and there wasn't any significant contraction I could feel. 

Then at 8p.m. I felt weak period cramps on and off. I was thinking, oh, has it started? If the pain is like this, I can do this! I know..don't laugh at my naivety. Anyway, I took this time to finally read to notes given by the doctor. She gave me weeks in prior asking me to study on the breathing. But, I didn't. So, basically, I came in without any knowledge at all on the breathing or anything in regards to labor. Sigh..I know..so ignorant. I figured things like this can't be understood by books. I need to experience it to know how to manage it. I was right. When the pain is so unbearable that I can't ignore anymore, the midwife taught me the breathing technique. She also taught 'A' how to help me ease the pain, i.e. the right way to roll the tennis ball on my back. When we enter the labor room, we noticed the tennis ball and we questioned ourselves what tennis balls doing in labor room. lol xp. By the way, it really helps, that tennis ball! 

ctg and the TV.

Well, you can have the midwife's full attention in here as it is usually only one person gave birth at one time. Despite of that, she didn't entertain my request for pain killer or any pain lessening procedure that they can offer. 

April 2nd, 2016

Dealing with contractions and labor

While at latent phase, I actively 'what's apping' friends and family. Most of them were surprised as they also expected me to deliver later than the due. They gave me a lot of tips and ritual I can do to ease the labor. In between the messaging, I also shopped for handbags and baju raya online :p. However, when I started feeling sleepy at around 1a.m., I feel the contractions get stronger. I can't entertain myself with anything anymore. The pain took over my mind and I was frustrated because I was so sleepy but the contraction didn't allow me to fall asleep. I regretted for not resting well when the midwife suggested me to.

The notes given by the doctor a few weeks before. I didn't read it until I was strapped in the labor room with CTG monitor. hehe. Still, I couldn't relate, until I experienced every steps myself. The notes really helped on what to expect. Alhamdulillah my labor process was text-book alike.

'A' was by my side assisting me breathing. If not because of him, I don't think I can do the breathing at all, and I would probably will get crazy dealing with the pain. The breathing did helped a lot for me to handle the pain because without it, the pain will be unbearable. Good breathing is the only way you can get through the process. Time goes by, and the pain did not get easier. I spent so much energy trying to get through each phases. Without me realizing it, suddenly the sun was up and the clock showed that it was 8a.m. It was the time when I feel any breathing couldn't ease the pain anymore. Suddenly, the pain I felt was so strong and accompanied by the urge to pass motion. I told 'A' that I wanted to go to the toilet. Then he called the midwife saying that I wanted to go the toilet. Then, when the contraction subsides, I don't feel like going to the toilet anymore. So confusing, I know.

For those of you who not yet go into labor, contraction will get stronger and more frequent as the labor progresses. So, like 3 minutes later I screamed for toilet again. I really..scream.. guys...although I had sworn I won't be one of those dramatic lady in labor. But then I cancelled the call again as the contraction subsided. As I told you, the contraction only gets stronger. Another 3 minutes later, the urge to pass motion came again and it was way way stronger and uncontrollable that I just let whatever my body wants to do. I tried to push the 'stool' out of me, but all I feel was air coming out from the anus. lol xp. Turned out guys, that's the signal your body gave when you are ready to push.

The midwives finally came into the room and this time she took my scream seriously and finally took the initiative to check my opening. sigh..then she discovered that I have fully dilated T_T It's all because everyone assumed that I might take longer to reach the full dilation T_T Now I know what it feels like when they said they really want to push. It's your body did it. It's your body that made you want to push. I tried my best to keep to the breathing technique but it was too painful that all I did was screamed for help..help to ease the pain. I tried so hard not to scream though, but I'm just a human..with no experience in labor T_T

They immediately prepared the room for labor and called the doctor. Although all the process will be assisted by the midwife, the presence of a doctor is still required in case there's any complications that might need their intervention. Anyway, thank God everything was ready by the time clock struck 9 as that was the time the doctor arrived (it was Saturday). I had no idea how to do it, so the midwife was so patient teaching me how to push and attempted several styles that could help me with the labor. By the way, nothing really helped, finally I settled with the standard position..baring je.

After 2 hours, many attempts of pushes and beggings for caesarean, I finally succeeded delivering a healthy baby girl. It was so difficult, I tell you. And it's true people say that after the baby is out, all the pain is gone. Despite of that, down there you still feel pain la...when the doctor took over to stitch me up, I gasped and asked her whether the procedure is gonna be painful. Then she showed me a syringe filled with local anaesthetic. I was so relieved, you guys. The saying that you won't feel pain during stitches is not true for me, I think, because I felt it strongly when she injected me, let alone all the stitches without numbing that part first!

The push, it was so hard for me. I think part of it was because I was drained of energy and I was so hungry. Because of the hunger, I looked up the clock and saw the time. It was 8a.m. That's how I remembers the time. I was already tired while dealing with the contractions for 12 hours. I remember I kept telling 'A' I was tired and keep saying "I can't do this". Then, the contraction came despite of how not ready or how tired you are. You just had to deal with it. 

I remember I keep asking for water in between contractions. According to 'A' my energy booster was this lemon tea. He said I appear to be able to have a fruitful push after he fed me with this lemon tea. Maybe you guys can add this into your list for possible energy booster in labor. heh.

'A'

'A' yang sedang membuat onar dalam labor room. This time I still can laugh and make jokes. A few hours later...you don't wanna know.umpama dirasuk >,<

'A' managed to get some sleep. I was still in latent phase this time, so I actively messaging with my friends on the phone. Still optimistic about labor and refused to get some sleep. What a wrong move! 

It was also awkward for me to deal with different 'A'. Both of us rarely act serious. We both always being sarcastic to each other and always twisted things to make it funny. So, when dealing with life and death situation like that, I don't know how do I deal with 'A'. I saw his eyes got wet while cheering for me. He came out with some serious quotes in which if on different days we both will end up bursting in laughter. It was so not fun looking at 'A' like that. I wish I can tell him don't be sad/ don't cry, I'm fine. But, I was seriously in pain. Maybe that would be the only time I will allow him being all serious with quotes and all without making fun of him. and of course 'A' had some serious tears coming out when he sees his daughter came out of me, perfect, healthy and so beautiful. 

Baby girl

We have been waiting for her arrival for 5 years. So, when we hear her first cry and the midwife said that the baby is perfect (and kept saying how she resembles 'A'), we were overcame with joy. I cried, obviously, and said to 'A' we are finally a parents, a status we have been patiently waited for. I think 'A' was so happy for one, he is now a dad, and two, for the fact that I did it.

The doctor had been telling me that my baby will resembles her father a lot since she was in my belly. When she came out, that was what everyone was saying. As soon as the head was out, the midwife immediately declared that the baby looks like the daddy. Sigh..after all the push and dramas, she came out looking like daddy in every ways. Nevertheless, alhamdulillah for her to be one healthy baby. She's indeed looked a lot like 'A'. Now I need to go all through this again until I get one looking like me..at least. heh.


Post-labor

Skin to skin contact (STS) was done first as soon as she came out. The midwife made the baby latch on both breasts for a few minutes and took her away for a while for a thorough check up.

We were so exhausted after battling for more than 12 hours. We were given a 2 hour bonding time with the baby in the labor room. 'A' held the baby for a moment to whisper than and iqamah to her ears. Then, she was placed on my chest again for STS and after that, I passed out. When I wake up, I saw 'A' sleeping on the sofa and baby was sleeping on my chest. Apparently, we were all fell asleep! nice bonding time.

The midwife then sponge-bathed me and changed my cloth. I didn't have to lift a finger. She changed my diaper several times until she think the blood could be well absorbed by the maternity pads. I finally had my meal after my last one, yesterday's dinner. Then I was wheeled to the ward. It was around 3pm when I settled in the bed that I'm going to spend on for the next 7 days.


p/s: I should stop here. There's a lot more stories to share with my future self and to you, readers. I think I don't know many things until I experienced it myself. It's either people are being selective in telling their stories or they are just lucky to have everything went so smoothly. Enough for me to tell you, labor and contractions, they are just the beginning. The tougher journey ahead is going to be more challenging at least at emotional level. No, it's not the baby that tested you, it's your body. Ok, enough with the clue. I'll leave you here. See you in the next entry!

 

The baby girl who has changed my world and myself. The one who has made me a mother :)

When the water broke

April 1st 2016..

It was a fine Friday. 

The weather was at its best, not so cold and yet not so warm, just enough to elaborate the kindness of spring would bring. In addition to that, the long awaited sakura was in the full bloom (mangkai). Unlike last year which witnessed quite a rainy sakura season, this year's mangkai was accompanied a much friendlier weather. Like the rest of the population, I have the same idea in mind, i.e. going for hanami on the next day, which happened to be Saturday. I can't explain more of the strategic time the sakura got mangkai. It was almost sure that everyone of us will be able to experience a nice hanami with our families and loved ones.

So, it happened that on that particular week, I decided to start my maternity leave, although I was really 50-50 about it. On Monday until Wednesday, I was full dressed for work before I decided not to go because dressing up itself drained me of the energy of the day. At the end, I stayed in, in full dress, watching the TV while counting the minutes 'A' is back from work. Meanwhile, 'A' was very happy every time I told him I didn't go to work. He was so worried of the possibilities I will go to labor while at work. That Friday too, I was at home, sleeping most of the morning. Then I filled my time planning for the next day hanami (sakura viewing while having picnic). I was so ready to go all out for hanami this time because of the great weather and just the right amount of sun. I tried on a few dresses while imagining how I wanted to look like in a picture with sakura and me, pregnant. I tweeted about the activities and how happy I was to discover that I still can fit into my XS maxi dresses. But, at the end I decided not to dress in any maxi/gowns at all as that kind of dress will only exaggerated my pregger's body.

After deciding on what I would wear for hanami, I went out to buy some stuff for the picnic. On the way to the supermarket, I took photos of the sakura tree around our housing areas and tweeted it.

I was supposed to enter week 39 on that Saturday. Almost everyone told me I would probably exceeds 40 weeks given that it was my first time giving birth and because of the gender of my baby. Although I didn't want to believe that, but after so many people said it, it had set well in my mind. That's why both of us ('A' and me) was very slow in completing the baby's necessities and that includes the hospital bag. 

While walking, suddenly I felt a gush of water coming down from down there. I convinced myself that I might peed myself again as I did the previous Sunday after sneezing. But this time, I was neither sneezing nor coughing. I stalled when I feel it at first. I continued walking and that time the water came out much more and I was convinced it wasn't from the bladder because I can't seem to able to control it. Then, I turn back trying to walk towards my house and oh my God, the water came out like its nobody's business. I walk as fast as I could (I was so huge, how fast could I go especially with water gushing out from under you like that). I searched for my phone and you know, at times like this our phones usually decided to sink deeper in the bag! arghh.. at that time I attracted dogs who happened to cross my path. 

When finally I reached home, the keys decided to hide themselves and I happened to carry a lady Dior. That bag is so hard to fish out for things because of its firm body (double sigh). The water came out much more as I was standing still fishing for the keys. My pants and socks..soaked. I stepped into the house with trails of amniotic fluid following me. I was panicked and didn't know what to do. I panicked not because of the fact that it's amniotic fluid, but because I don't know how to manage the leaking water. I changed pants and wear an overnight pad, still it got soaked so fast until there's no pants left anymore. So, I was worried what to do if I don't have pants. What to wear to the hospital. 

I called 'A' and he was so panicked although I told him I didn't feel any pain, yet. He arrived home in 10 minutes. Thank God his office is so close to home. While waiting for him, I try to grab all the necessities for the baby. I grabbed everything that crossed my mind, but still it wasn't complete. 

It was 6 o'clock when we left home.

My ride to the hospital -_-"

On the way to the hospital, 'A' called the hospital to tell them about our arrival. The midwife asked me about my condition whether I feel any pain and the color of the amniotic fluid. The admission people has already expecting us with all the documents necessary (it was amazing as it was only 15 minutes journey from home). We were told to go straight to the labor room where a midwife stood there, waiting for us. 

The midwife asked me to pee and immediately checking my opening. It was so difficult for me to do all these procedures because of every moves seems to accelerate the leakage. I think I used up the whole pack of overnight pads at this point. 

So, what was my condition at that time? My opening was still around 2cm (I was at 2cm from week 36). Then we were ushered to the labor room where we were told that we are going to stay until the baby comes out. It was 7 p.m. by then.

*to be continued*

This post is getting longer, so I'm going to break the story into two parts. So, I'm going to stop the story of my April 1st of 2016 here. See you in the next episode where hopefully we are going to see the climax!

My home 'interior'

I don't know if you notice..

Men, they never move on from their childhood. Their interest with toys seems to stay despite of the age, unlike us ladies, we move on. We don't play with dolls anymore as soon as we hit teenage years, am I right? The men, even they don't really play, but they seems to have this strong attachment to their toys that they tend to keep it until the things probably degraded due to nature course. haha. 

My 'A' too is like those men I just described above. The fact that they still got excited over hot wheels and attempting to buy the models he could not afford when he was a kid, really did not bother me. I took it as 'A' is a person who had a great childhood given that everything he does can be associated with that time. For example, the time we need to decide on the car's plate number. He was so adamant to register the car as 87. When I ask what is the significance of that number? We weren't born in 87, or have anything to do with number 87. Apparently, 87 is the car's number that he rode to school when he was a kid -_-". I understand his attachment and envy at the abundant of good memories he had. But, I just could not accept the reason for once. It took him a long time to change his mind though -_-" And nope, our car's plate number isn't 87. Maybe for this one. For next, I'm not really sure -_-"

Anyway, he is also a man with a lot of hobbies and interest. Now that we are living in a four season country, made the situation worse. Ask me why?? Of course he would do different things for different seasons. Didn't I tell you that he's so into sports? He didn't just watch sports, ok? He does it! So far all sports except sumo? haha.

We are currently entering the spring. But, a few months ago, these are what my house's interior looked like...

Next to my kitchen counter.
Binder for snowboards. When I asked, "why you need two?" He answered, "in case one rosak". I know la one can rosak, but can he just bought another one when one actually is rosak?:/

The boards. Yep, he got two boards too..for the same reason he got two binders.  Btw, this is the entrance to the toilet. So mencabar to enter toilet for months -_-"

The entrance to our house. You will be greeted by his recreational road-bike (he has another road-bike for everyday use and that is kept outside at the designated bicycle space). Please find the golf club, his snowboard's boots, and inside the umbrella's holder, there's a portable badminton net in a blue bag. yeah..

Well, although my house looks like that the whole winter, I'm glad that he knows how to enjoy life. I always told him to try as many things as possible while you are at it. But, he actually doing it, unlike me who just knows how to utter the words. I'd say he is the example to what we call 'living life to the fullest'. 

Now that he is about to be a daddy, I said 'ok' to every requests for his boy's time. I said yes to his hundreds of snowboard's trips ( #perksoflivinginHiroshima ), futsal, footballs, time-out with his colleagues until late at night, trips to watch live footballs and baseballs, etc. I said 'yes' even though I already booked him much earlier ( #wifemithali ). Our baby will be in full term (37 weeks) in a few days. Till then, I'd give him as much his-time as possible. After that, he needs to be a dad, and the luxury of time he is enjoying now will come again maybe in 20 years. haha. 

Ika-pea

It's been two days I've been craving ika-pea (squid-flavored peanuts). But, the one that I like is from Daiso. I didn't have time to go or have any encounter with Daiso, so, I told myself to be patient a bit until we can find the opportunity to get some.

Yesterday, a miracle happened.

'A' arrived home much earlier than me. And I didn't even home late. So, imagine how early he was.

So, after I cooked and had our dinner, I asked him to go buy me some ika-pea given that how young they night still is. I didn't think I was too much as I rarely asked him to fulfill my pregnancy cravings.

He said he will go buy me some but he wanted to watch the TV first. 

I was so excited, I could feel crunchiness of the ika-pea in my mouth already.

Then, he fell asleep. The thing with me is, I never would wake him up when I know he was tired from work just to ask him to buy me snacks. I know we are entitled to do so as a wife, pregnant and all. But, I never had the heart. Then I tell myself, "it's ok, the night is still young. He has two hours before the shop close". But, to my disappointment, he slept until late that night that I need to wake him up for Isya'. 

When he wake up, he realized that it's already midnight and his face was filled with guilt. I was controlling myself from crying for not be able to taste the salty and crunchy and addictive ika-pea that I was expecting to finally have it a few hours before. But he's lucky I didn't let my emotion took over my sanity. I know there'll be tomorrow and ika-pea is not worth a fight or emotional disturbance on my part. 

So, I just go to sleep with a plan to stop by Daiso on the way to work tomorrow. 

Because 'A' has already slept for hours, he stayed up that night. But, at 1am I was awaken by pain felt like the period cramp. I thought I was dreaming, but when I open my eyes I realized the pain is real and made me remember the dreadful monthly routine that I had to endure pre-pregnancy. While dealing with the pain, I heard 'A''s movement around the house. Then, at 2, he went out. I think he went out for about 20 minutes. I guessed he might do something with the car or he was fetching his bicycle which he left it at his office that evening. 

Then, morning came. On the dining table I saw packs and packs of variety of nuts from 7-Eleven. Then I know where he went to at 2am that morning :) There's no ika-pea

among the loots though. Coz 7E does not sell ika-pea. But, I still touched by his gesture :) 

Thank you, sayang :') 

Maternity photoshoot

I don't really have photos of my pregnant self by months or weeks like many others do especially when it's their first pregnancy. I don't know if I will ever regret that, I don't really know. But, I don't really have those. I took photos occasionally like days I wasn't pregnant. Like, when I meet people, on special occasion, etc. for the purpose of not recording my pregnant self. You know what I mean?

Family and friends, they did asked for the photos of me, pregnant. Maybe this is my first time and everyone is curious how this so-petite body can carry a child. hehe. So, I tried to selfie myself in front of the mirror, but I failed most of the time. After some training with my friend who is so good at taking pregnancy selfie, I managed to snap one or two but not suitable to share as I was wearing pyjama. lol xp. 

Then suddenly I'm at my third trimester and realized we have no proper photos or memorabilia of our pregnancy. I would probably don't think it as a big matter now, but I'm afraid I might regret it later. Who knows I wouldn't be given another (nauzubillah minzalik). I told my friend here that I don't have a single nice photo of me pregnant and she thinks I should take a few. She even went to the studio for it. 

I told 'A' about my concern of us lacking pregnancy memorabilia. He's a guy, so of course he doesn't really know that it's a thing. But, he's fond of the idea and strongly think that we need that. Despite of my concern, I was so lazy to drag myself into doing this photoshoot. haha. I don't know why. 

This one Saturday, suddenly the weather was so nice that we can ditch those heavy winter coat and roam happily in the Japanese garden which happened to exist only 2 minutes away from our home. After much contemplation, 'A' finally succeeded to take me out of the house and finally getting our decent shoots as the first time parents :) 

We often just pass by the garden, but this time we finally had the reason to stop by and enjoy every inch of the garden. So, from here you know that we didn't use any professional photographer. All tripod-assisted shoots. So jimat!

#walrus

Aiskrim Biru

Before I got married and move to Japan, I can swear to you I maybe eat ice cream in a frequency of em..3 times a year. The most I think. When I feel like eating ice-cream, I'll look for the high-end ones la because I rarely had them, right? 

Call it fate, I got married to 'A' who eats ice cream like they are staple food. OMG! Really!

The first few days being married to him, I was shocked how he can eat ice cream so much at a time. Despite of witnessing this bizarre (to me) talent of him, my likes towards ice cream still did not improved. So, this is one thing about married couple completing each other. One is an extreme ice cream consumer, and another is just so repulsive. It's good that we are now living in Japan. I think their sweets; i.e. ice cream, chocolates, are less sugary than ours in Malaysia. However, this opinion of mine still needs some back ups as I don't know whether that really is caused by the content itself or  it's actually the palate given that the weathers are different. 

Selection of supermarket ice creams in Japan is so banyak! Banyak sangat! haha. Really. 

From the simplest ones like matcha and red beans on stick to some complicated ones which consist of layers of fruits and chocolates. Among them, 'A''s favorite is this one simple stick ice cream which consisted of vanilla ice cream coated with blue soda, which I always call 'eskem biru'. 

I remember I told him, "Among so many ice creams I see you eat, I hate this eskem biru. It's like so boring!Like tak ada makna." followed by me ranting about how he should choose ice cream (coming from some one who doesn't eat ice cream, I know).

It's funny how the universe works some times. Now that I'm carrying his baby, my appetite has completely transformed to 'A''s! Currently, I'm the one who stock up 'eskem biru'. Sometimes he doesn't even know that we have it in the house. A few times I was woken up by dreaming of eating eskem biru. So, I will go to the fridge and eat one. Yeah, that's how my addiction with eskem biru was, up until a few days ago that I got busted eating too much ice cream. The nurse who took care of my well being asked me to stop eating ice cream, snacks and cut my fruit intake *cries a river*. I think I was in my worst mood for two days due to withdrawal. I really suffered a lot for one, there are still plenty of eskem biru in the freezer and two, 'A''s chomping sound while eating the eskem biru is the new sound of nail screeching on the chalkboard to me. Suddenly the sounds of he's licking and sucking the ice cream is amplified for 100x. I really am going crazy that time, which was just a few days ago. 

By the way, due to rapid weight gain I'm having for these few weeks (only), I was strictly advised to stop taking all kinds of snacks, sweets or salty. I was so depressed leaving the hospital on that particular day thinking about my 'eskem biru' that I just stocked up that morning. I could imagine the smell and the joy it brought when I had them while watching Pawn Stars. sigh... Goodbye 'eskem biru' for now (3 months at least >,<).

This is the legendary 'eskem biru' that is now haunting me..I almost put a box in my shopping basket just now. Amazed at my own self-control which honestly, barely exist.

Second Trimester

It's over already. 

And the sad thing about it is, I forgot most of the things I went through already. 

I finally open my blog (while waiting for 'A' to pick me up because it's too cold outside for me to walk home). I clicked on the previous posts and..I like the feeling. Memories that I'll surely take for granted if I haven't written it down.

Anyway, this post will be written much slowly, as I'm trying to recall all the small, big things I went through when I was in my second trimester.

1. The saying that second trimester is the time for us to enjoy is very true. For yours truly, I felt like myself again on my 12 weeks, 1 day of pregnancy. Yes, the first day of the second trimester, I instantly felt like myself again. I regain my health and energy that I almost forgot how it feels like. I was so grateful. It's exactly like when you wake up, you became someone else. tsk..the power of hormone. But, unfortunately, not all mommies get to enjoy their second trimester well. Many around me were still experiencing pregnancy sickness such as nausea, lethargic, excess vomiting, etc. 

2. First kick was felt when I was at 18 weeks. I was praying, and when I perform rukuk, I felt a strong kick to my diaphragm. It was very strong that I moved a bit. haha..I remember I was waiting for the kick because everyone around me was asking if I could feel it. I was so relieved to finally feel it. 

3. At 18 weeks, the doctor could see the face of my baby and said to me (without hesitation) that the baby will look like the father. And I said (in my mind), that it is still too early. Maybe it will change. 

It does not, people. The baby still is looking like daddy till date :/ Oh, and the gender was discovered at week-18 also. And it doesn't change until today. haha xp. 

4. Apparently, baby will not just looking like daddy, he/she has appetite like daddy also. I've been eating like 'A'. Symptoms of transforming to 'A' started off at the second trimester and getting more pronounced now that I am at my third trimester. For example, ice creams and chips. I don't eat these two. Ice cream? I hardly eat them. When I got married with 'ice-cream ghost' (direct translation for hantu aiskrim), only I familiarize myself with ice-cream. But usually I could only eat one or two spoons, the most. But, this pregnancy changes me. I'm the one who is stocking up ice cream and we had a hard time with sharing. There can't be two 'ice-cream ghost' in a house I guess. But, 'A' might as well prepare for that in a few years!

5. Weight gain wasn't an issue during this time. I hardly gain any. Maybe because I became myself again. My 'original-self' is someone who doesn't eat in a large portion. Instead, I used to eat many times, but in small quantity. I can't say if it is self-taught, but that's who I am. I gained a lot during my first trimester and now that I'm at my third trimester. During the first trimester, the hunger I felt was so out of control. So, I ate a lot of times of nasi berlauk and snacks. I carried so many kinds of snacks in my bags but baby doesn't like snacks. He/she only wants fine dining T_T Now at third trimester, I still feels like myself but the weight gain is so rapid that I have no idea where they came from. can anybody explain this >,<

6. One of the thing I was worried when I got pregnant abroad is food cravings. But, so far, alhamdulillah..I didn't experience any food cravings that are impossible to get. Among the food that I craved for were lychees and fruit cake. I freaked out when suddenly I really wanted lychees. Because lychee is not a common fruits in here. But, luckily canned lychees are usually as good as the fresh ones and my baby (and myself) seems to tolerate it well. So, I think I ate about 10 canned lychees until my cravings satisfied. There's one can left at home and it's been months there. I didn't attract me anymore as the craving isn't there anymore.

7. Wardrobe malfunction started and it was no joke. I can't remember when was the last time I had to shop for attired because of needs. Usually, I shop for attire because of wants or because I like it. But this time, I shop because I had to. For comfort. Especially all the undies and all. Many of my friend survived with their pre-pregnancy undies, which I find it awesome. I looked for maternity undies and pants when I was in my 6th months I think. During that time, my belly wasn't that big that I need maternity pants. But, when I tried them on (despite of how ugly they are when hanged), I felt so relieved at the belly part. So, I just grab a few and practically live inside it till today. Only at 30weeks plus the maternity pants really fits me well though. Before that they were slightly loose but it's okay. As for the top, not much problem except if they have very precise cutting on your body. But, at the second trimester, I don't think you'll have any problem fitting in. Now at 36 weeks, I finally found myself needing to put a lot of effort to fit in into my tops except the loose ones. So, I guess saber jela for a few more weeks wearing the same loose tops I have in my wardrobe. And of course, juba and abayas would be the best to save the day. Unfortunately, it is cold now, thus pants and tops.

8. Pregnancy brain. I think I experienced pregnancy brain at the slightest maybe. I think this progesterone made me lost for words so many times. The frequency is too much even I noticed it. Well, it's maybe just me getting old though.