First Trimester

         Before, I've never really paid attention when women are talking about their first trimester symptoms. But, I somehow get it and never understood it. Part of me believed in them, and part of me was asking, "how come?" "is it that terrible?" "they kind of lose who they are. Is it real or it was just in their minds?" 

            Now, my time has came. And girls...it was that terrible. Although the process was torturing, but you can't really complained as you know, that's just the smallest kind of sacrifice you need to endure for the little miracle inside your womb. Now I know why my friends never said negatively about their first trimester experience. Strong woman they ae.

           Me? sigh...I tried guys. When I told my mom about my experience, I got something like this "Yeah...because you are too old already." -_-"  

             Geez...thanks mom.

        Anyway, only when I experiencing this, I started to ask around. And the result was, my experience was not as severe as most of my friends. The worst I heard some have them have endured;

i. Bedridden - and no, not because they are older, ok. In fact, I heard this from younger moms.

ii. Excessive vomiting - I can't remember when was the last time I vomit. Really. Maybe when I was 22, a day before I sat for my final papers due to food poisoning. That time, I felt really tested. 

iii. Can't smell food, hence can't get near kitchen, hence can't cook - I heard this so many times from my friends in here. While the wife is dealing with the first trimester, the husband will take over the cooking duty. That means, the husband needs to cook before leaving for work, and when they return home. Tough for both parties. I shudder to the possibility I might be experiencing the same thing as this symptoms is quite famous around me. Because..I can't eat my husband's cook..His cooking is just out of this world #sorrysayang.

iv. Can't smell food, hence can't eat, but you are hungry - I also hear this a lot. My very good friend who has just discovered that she's pregnant experienced this one. She can't smell food, but keeps feeling hungry and keeps vomiting her gut out! So, most of the times only water comes out of her. It must be really painful. I pray that Allah s.w.t eases her pain.

So, when I hear all of these, I feel very thankful that mine wasn't that severe and yet I felt like dying T_T So, here's the list of my symptoms:

i. Nausea

          This is the earliest symptoms for me. It started at week 4, when I was convinced that I might be one of the lucky star who may not have noticeable first trimester syndromes. I was at Malaysia during this time, celebrating the remaining of Syawal. And suddenly, I was tired (like the body ache you usually feel when you are about the have a fever) and the thought of seafood will make me nauseated. It is so sudden, no warning whatsoever. The next day, it got very noticeable that I nauseated whenever the sun sets. I was so nauseated even I don't understand myself. I can't find the solution to it and that made me so frustrated. If I don't understand what's going on, how to manage the feeling, I can't make my partner understand and help me. So, I just close my mouth and sleep it of. 

ii. Extreme tiredness 

         This is like body ache when you are having fever, but you don't have fever. All your joints, muscles feels like they are soaked with lactic acid during anaerobic respiration. I quickly google whether my condition is normal or it was just in my mind. I felt relieved to discover that it was normal for some woman to experience this. Phew....But, that was the toughest part for me, for someone living abroad in a non-muslim country. You see, I have to cook almost everyday. My husband brings bentou everyday and he usually come home very hungry. Looking at him eating dinner despite of how awful my cooking was is the highlight of my day. and of course..I can't eat his cookings. That's not an option. You must know that I also work with Japanese, which means longer working hour than we have in Malaysia. I have a flexible working hour, but usually the classes seminar will be held after working hour. I hope I can understand that too, but I don't. So, I need to stay until 8-9pm most of the days, and my nauseous was at its peak at these hours. I wanted to cry, but no use. I better accumulate any ATP left to walk back home (I can't ride bicycle as I am pregnant, remember? and I can't bring car as distance from home to university doesn't allow me to get a parking inside the campus. The minus point of working in the middle of the city). So, when I reach home, I need to push myself to do some cooking. It's not just for him, but for me and the baby. By that time usually I'll feel very hungry that the word hungry cannot explain it well anymore.

iii. Unexplainable state of hunger

             I'm serious guys. The hunger is something I never experienced before. I even woke up at 4am crying because I was too hungry. Then 'A' got me some cereal so that I can get back to sleep. And at 6am after fajr, I eat again. It gets more complicated for me because my baby doesn't seem to like snacks. He/She likes proper meal, hot food which is hard to get it in here except when I'm at home so that I can cook it myself. Seems like baby still didn't noticed that he/she is in Japan where we don't have food stalls every 10m T_T. 

             I told my doctor about my nausea strike and she said that also means that I'm hungry. I was like...really??!! Usually when I feel nauseated, I just want to lie down and sleep it off. It is something that I don't know how to deal with to make myself feel better. It seems like nothing in my knowledge about myself can shoo that nausea away. Anyway, I tried the doctor's advice although it was such a torture to shove food into your mouth while you are nauseated. Turned out, the doctor was right. I feel better a moment after forced eating. But, I don't think this tips work to those who have excess vomiting. It works on me as I didn't experience vomiting. Alhamdulillah for that.

iv. Pelvic pain

           Although I tried to cry whenever my symptoms got worse, I just can't. That means, I wasn't sad by it. But, I had pelvic pain a few times at around the time when the first trimester is about to come to an end. That one, I cried because my butt was in pain and I couldn't sleep or move freely and..'A' wasn't a good masseur. lol xp. After that one night that I cried to sleep with painful butt, the pain disappear the day after until now I haven't had any. Alhamdulillah. That just means my pelvis is preparing itself. It's ok. 

v. Food cravings

            Girls, the cravings for food that we always experience when we are in post-ovulation, is nothing compared to pregnancy cravings! 

               Before I discover I was pregnant, maybe about the first week, I started to crave for fish eggs, specifically fried one that we always find in Malaysia. But, in here the closest I could get was roe. Before, I don't like anything associated with roe. But, that evening I called husband to come home early because I craved for roe. He felt weird at first because he knew I don't eat roe. haha. On the way home, I bought bean sprouts- the kind of vegetables I rarely cook. I just don't like bean sprouts. but that evening, I crave for bean sprouts with a lot of tofu. So, I think 3 days in a row, I keep wanting to eat roe, bean sprout and I drove miles to buy green beans for I craved for 'bubur kacang hijau'. 

              All the cravings afterwards usually came in my dream first. The dream was very real, thus is made me more frustrated when I wake up. The two things I could not realized for my baby are gardenia bread and peanut butter jelly, and 'gulai pisang muda'. That one, mummy cannot make, sayang T_T. And can you believe me, there are no peanut butter jelly in Japan T_T I told my friend about my cravings and dream and she said she also experienced the same thing. Phew....again. I'm not alone.

              Now that the first trimester is over, the cravings also gone with the wind. Maybe there will be small cravings here and there, but I'm sure it will be much under control than the first trimester's one. That one, if can't get it, you'll feel like the world will be over. sigh..

vi. Hormonal Acnes

You know, as a modern day mom, I have to download the pregnancy app into my phone. So, it was so exciting that changes that happened to myself is so accurate according to the app. One day, the app said 'by this time maybe you will notice acnes start to appear..' and when I look into the mirror..I saw acnes. arghhh...It was totally the pregnancy's acnes. The acnes still come and go on my face (now week 13) but I don't bother to give my worry to it. It will be no use as it is all part of the process. Don't want to waste my energy fighting the nature. I hope the acnes will subdues soon. but if it's not, I will endure it as long as the little miracle inside me can grow healthily. 

My pregnancy so far is a textbook pregnancy. I hope it stays that way so that everything is explained better for myself. As soon as week 12 is over, my old self appear again. Everything that I used to think, I used to like, habits instilled in me again like they have never lost before. It's very difficult to explain and it does sounds like myths. But, here I assure you that when your pregnant wife said they don't feel like themselves or even they don't say it but you feel that way, it is just the pregnancy. It will be over in three months so, in the mean time, be patient with each other and help each other keep the positive vibes around!

Said the first-timer mom :p