You know we are granted this miracle after only 5 years of marriage. No, I'm not complaining. I'm so blessed in other ways, waiting for a while is not a problem. The problem is the society we are living in. However, I'm one of the lucky person for Allah s.w.t sent me here as soon as I got married. He knows best that I may not be able to bear the pressure for what is coming in my way.
Anyway, we were in long distance marriage for 3 consecutive years. It's not like once a week, but it had reached once every 3 months or so, due to 'A's commitment, and also mine. But I can't keep explaining this to everybody who are so caring asking us when we are going to have a baby. Because, even I myself know, despite of the distance, frequency of baby dancing may not be the factor. If it is written it's your rizq, distance and frequency is not the main factor. If it is the time, one time try also can be fruitful. So, that's why, the correct answer for all kind of questions which all means 'why I still haven't got any children' is, it's not the time yet. But you know, who would like to hear such a cliche answer. So, during this 5 years, I was very thankful for the location I am in.
We finally live together like a married couple meant to be during our 4th year of marriage. After a month, I start to feel the pressure of wanting to get pregnant. I felt like I have too much love in me to give away. By that time I was convinced that 'A' feeling so rimas already with too much attention he was having :p
The pressure, it comes very naturally although you try to take over your mind. I told 'A' that I might need help (although it's just a month we've been living together). I said, although it's still very new, but I want to show the Almighty my effort, my kesungguhan to get our own zuriat. 'A' understands or I shall say, in a situation where you wife is in that fragile state like that, a husband would usually just said 'yes, mam!'.haha. So, he looked for a good doctor around the city that can speak english and can accept my case. It was very difficult to get a slot apparently. I managed to get a slot a month after we called. Wow, right?! But again, if you weren't 'kibishi' (fussy) in choosing your doctor, there are plenty more with shorter waiting time. In this case, it wasn't me who was kibishi, 'A' was and always is >,<
On the day of my first check-up, of course the doctor will interview me. It was easy for me as the doctor speaks english very well, so I don't need to choose my words wisely. But, since he is familiar with cases like mine, I wasn't made to tell much. Then he explained to me the list of check-up that he'll do to rule out my fertility problem.
There are 5 areas that you will be examined:
i. Blood test to check your hormone level (estrogen, progesterone, hypothalamus, pituitary)
ii. Ultrasound-checking the ovaries for abnormalities.
iii. X-ray to determine of any blockage in the fallopian tubes
iv. Colposcopy - To examine you cervix condition
v. Ultasound-checking your uterine lining
All examinations were painless except the one that checks for blockage in your fallopian tube, in which the doctor will insert this blue liquid through your miss v, which feels so much like an intense period cramp. This liquid would travel through your fallopian tube. Subsequently, this blue liquid would be detected by the x-ray scanner. The doctor was aware that the procedure is painful for me, so he did that very quickly, so it was all good.
I waited about half an hour to get all the results. Alhamdulillah, 'A' and me are healthy, which made us more puzzle of why it was difficult for us to conceive. The doctor could not do much as doctors here are mostly pro natural for everything. So, he never mentioned to us to try for artificial options such as IUI (intrauterine insemination) or IVF (in vitro fertilization). You have to listen to birth stories here, very scary but they believed it's all for the good of the mother post-delivery.
So, there are three ways to assisted TTC:
i. Timing method - the method recommended to us.
ii. IUI
iii. IVF
All methods are covered by insurance (in Japan), but for IVF, only 10-20% of the cost will be covered (if you are eligible).
Timing method
So, we proceed with timing method. For about 7 months (before I quit), the doctor helped me monitor my ovulation, as he and us thought it was the timing that we got wrong all these time. So, by helping us deduce the ovulation time, it will increase our chance at conception. Some months, we missed the correct time, and some it was not successful for God knows why. Some months we knew we definitely missed it as I need to travel abroad without 'A'. Some months my period was just longer than usual and doctor had to prescribed me with hormone pills. So far, the pills didn't work on me. I think my body has this way of override it. Even if the doctor increased the dose, my period cycle was still not shortened. Besides helping me at stimulating ovulation (on cycle which I ovulated later than usual), I was given HCG shots during two weeks post-ovulation. That was meant to help with the implantation should the conception occurs. I was also made to chart my basal body temperature (bbt) every morning (which 'A' was more committed doing than yours truly).
After 7 months of dealing with the unfruitful 'timing method', I quit clinic and started looking into IVF. I was considering the extreme measures because this one time suddenly I'm surrounded by successful IVF stories among friends. Although it cost a lot, but the rate of success at my age is higher than it's gonna be later. despite of our failure in 'timing method', I was still calm. Maybe this calmness was influenced by 'A' who is always calm anyway.
To finally got pregnant
However, in the midst of researching about IVF in Japan, I found myself pregnant. At the time when we least focus on trying to conceive, this miracle took place effortlessly in my body. We are extremely shocked but eternally grateful for Allah s.w.t finally answers our prayer :)
So in my opinion, if you and your spouse are proven to be medically healthy, all you need is patience, positivity and lots and lots of lots of du'a. I have so many people to thank, especially our mothers who never failed to make du'a for us. It is also important to surround yourself with positive people and remember to always put your trust in Him for He who knows what's best for you. Trust me, after everything that happened to us in the last 5 years and now, everything falls just on their right places :)
Baby dust to all ttc couples out there!
The pressure, it comes very naturally although you try to take over your mind. I told 'A' that I might need help (although it's just a month we've been living together). I said, although it's still very new, but I want to show the Almighty my effort, my kesungguhan to get our own zuriat. 'A' understands or I shall say, in a situation where you wife is in that fragile state like that, a husband would usually just said 'yes, mam!'.haha. So, he looked for a good doctor around the city that can speak english and can accept my case. It was very difficult to get a slot apparently. I managed to get a slot a month after we called. Wow, right?! But again, if you weren't 'kibishi' (fussy) in choosing your doctor, there are plenty more with shorter waiting time. In this case, it wasn't me who was kibishi, 'A' was and always is >,<
On the day of my first check-up, of course the doctor will interview me. It was easy for me as the doctor speaks english very well, so I don't need to choose my words wisely. But, since he is familiar with cases like mine, I wasn't made to tell much. Then he explained to me the list of check-up that he'll do to rule out my fertility problem.
There are 5 areas that you will be examined:
i. Blood test to check your hormone level (estrogen, progesterone, hypothalamus, pituitary)
ii. Ultrasound-checking the ovaries for abnormalities.
iii. X-ray to determine of any blockage in the fallopian tubes
iv. Colposcopy - To examine you cervix condition
v. Ultasound-checking your uterine lining
 |
| The figure that the doctor used to explain to me of the procedures. |
All examinations were painless except the one that checks for blockage in your fallopian tube, in which the doctor will insert this blue liquid through your miss v, which feels so much like an intense period cramp. This liquid would travel through your fallopian tube. Subsequently, this blue liquid would be detected by the x-ray scanner. The doctor was aware that the procedure is painful for me, so he did that very quickly, so it was all good.
I waited about half an hour to get all the results. Alhamdulillah, 'A' and me are healthy, which made us more puzzle of why it was difficult for us to conceive. The doctor could not do much as doctors here are mostly pro natural for everything. So, he never mentioned to us to try for artificial options such as IUI (intrauterine insemination) or IVF (in vitro fertilization). You have to listen to birth stories here, very scary but they believed it's all for the good of the mother post-delivery.
So, there are three ways to assisted TTC:
i. Timing method - the method recommended to us.
ii. IUI
iii. IVF
All methods are covered by insurance (in Japan), but for IVF, only 10-20% of the cost will be covered (if you are eligible).
Timing method
So, we proceed with timing method. For about 7 months (before I quit), the doctor helped me monitor my ovulation, as he and us thought it was the timing that we got wrong all these time. So, by helping us deduce the ovulation time, it will increase our chance at conception. Some months, we missed the correct time, and some it was not successful for God knows why. Some months we knew we definitely missed it as I need to travel abroad without 'A'. Some months my period was just longer than usual and doctor had to prescribed me with hormone pills. So far, the pills didn't work on me. I think my body has this way of override it. Even if the doctor increased the dose, my period cycle was still not shortened. Besides helping me at stimulating ovulation (on cycle which I ovulated later than usual), I was given HCG shots during two weeks post-ovulation. That was meant to help with the implantation should the conception occurs. I was also made to chart my basal body temperature (bbt) every morning (which 'A' was more committed doing than yours truly).
After 7 months of dealing with the unfruitful 'timing method', I quit clinic and started looking into IVF. I was considering the extreme measures because this one time suddenly I'm surrounded by successful IVF stories among friends. Although it cost a lot, but the rate of success at my age is higher than it's gonna be later. despite of our failure in 'timing method', I was still calm. Maybe this calmness was influenced by 'A' who is always calm anyway.
To finally got pregnant
However, in the midst of researching about IVF in Japan, I found myself pregnant. At the time when we least focus on trying to conceive, this miracle took place effortlessly in my body. We are extremely shocked but eternally grateful for Allah s.w.t finally answers our prayer :)
So in my opinion, if you and your spouse are proven to be medically healthy, all you need is patience, positivity and lots and lots of lots of du'a. I have so many people to thank, especially our mothers who never failed to make du'a for us. It is also important to surround yourself with positive people and remember to always put your trust in Him for He who knows what's best for you. Trust me, after everything that happened to us in the last 5 years and now, everything falls just on their right places :)
Baby dust to all ttc couples out there!
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