Fighting stretch marks

Assalamualaikum..

I have been postponing writing about this topic until I can really say that I managed to avoid stretch marks during my 9 months pregnancy. For that alhamdulillah..

This is my not-so-secret potion to my no-stretchmark pregnancy..

Weleda stretch mark oil..

In total, I used up about 4 bottles of this. I started to apply the oil religiously when I enter the third months. I need to mention that my pregnancy happened during the dry season; from autumn to winter to spring. So, imagine the itchiness if the skin at that area became dry. So, to those of you mommies looking for any means to fight stretch marks, maybe you can consider trying Weleda :) 

Remember, there is no remedy for stretch marks once they appear. What we can do then was just improve the appearance and..make peace with it. So, it is very crucial to avoid them at the first place. Till then, good luck!

Meet my princess

Born on April the 2nd, 2016 at 11.09 a.m.

We named her Lily Aaira Muhammad Asyraff. 

#LilyAairaMA #BabyL #LilyA 

Behind the name

Phew..it was so difficult to give name to a person, especially when she is made out of you. After all the pain and tears, of course all you want is everything to be perfect for her. Especially for the name, the calling that will stay with her for the rest of her life! 

I have been hash-tagging her with #BabyL during my pregnancy journey. 'L' stands for Lily. I have been calling her Lily since I can remember. At first we thought that she is going to have only one name, Lily, that's it. But, due to some circumstances, we added the second name at the last minute. A very last minute which was so frustrating for me as I couldn't find a name that I like. After I went through the name suggestions listed by 'A' for the umpteenth times, I found something interesting; Aaira has the same meaning with Asyraff in arabic. It's like the female version for Asyraff, which means noble/ respectful/respected/honorable. 'A' likes the name Aaira because in Japanese it means superior love (Ai=love, ra=superior). Well, he has been listing names that has both Japanese and arabic meaning. It's like it is expected that his children will be raised here. That's how we both agree to give her another name, Aaira. 

Her hospital tag.

Her cot's label.
Rosli chants baby girl
D.O.B. Heisei 28, April, 2nd
Time 11.09am
Age when born 39weeks, 0 days
Weight 3014g
Length 49.5cm

Lily's first day home in her cot :) welcome home my baby :)

The moment I became a mother

*read part one: when the water broke

April 1st, 2016...7 p.m.

We settled in the labor room with our luggages. Yes, luggages as I was expected to stay in the hospital for 7 days. I was so optimistic, I even carry all my work thinking that 7 days stay would be so boring. Anyway, first thing first, I was asked to change into a labor dress, which is a very cute pink knee-length dress. Then the midwife strapped me on the bed with ctg to monitor baby's heartbeat and contractions. So, I was expected to stay on the bed until...well, the baby decided to come out. Then, the midwife handed us a huge bag full with supplies like varieties of maternity pads and some baby's stuffs. 

'A', who just recovered from influenza and the midwife who welcomed us. 

The woman in labor.

I was so hungry by the time I settled on the bed. I used to have dinner at 6, and then it was already 7p.m. So, 'A' left to buy some dinner and went home to get things that we forgot to bring. By 7.30, he came back to me and we had dinner together. That time, I can still laugh and there wasn't any significant contraction I could feel. 

Then at 8p.m. I felt weak period cramps on and off. I was thinking, oh, has it started? If the pain is like this, I can do this! I know..don't laugh at my naivety. Anyway, I took this time to finally read to notes given by the doctor. She gave me weeks in prior asking me to study on the breathing. But, I didn't. So, basically, I came in without any knowledge at all on the breathing or anything in regards to labor. Sigh..I know..so ignorant. I figured things like this can't be understood by books. I need to experience it to know how to manage it. I was right. When the pain is so unbearable that I can't ignore anymore, the midwife taught me the breathing technique. She also taught 'A' how to help me ease the pain, i.e. the right way to roll the tennis ball on my back. When we enter the labor room, we noticed the tennis ball and we questioned ourselves what tennis balls doing in labor room. lol xp. By the way, it really helps, that tennis ball! 

ctg and the TV.

Well, you can have the midwife's full attention in here as it is usually only one person gave birth at one time. Despite of that, she didn't entertain my request for pain killer or any pain lessening procedure that they can offer. 

April 2nd, 2016

Dealing with contractions and labor

While at latent phase, I actively 'what's apping' friends and family. Most of them were surprised as they also expected me to deliver later than the due. They gave me a lot of tips and ritual I can do to ease the labor. In between the messaging, I also shopped for handbags and baju raya online :p. However, when I started feeling sleepy at around 1a.m., I feel the contractions get stronger. I can't entertain myself with anything anymore. The pain took over my mind and I was frustrated because I was so sleepy but the contraction didn't allow me to fall asleep. I regretted for not resting well when the midwife suggested me to.

The notes given by the doctor a few weeks before. I didn't read it until I was strapped in the labor room with CTG monitor. hehe. Still, I couldn't relate, until I experienced every steps myself. The notes really helped on what to expect. Alhamdulillah my labor process was text-book alike.

'A' was by my side assisting me breathing. If not because of him, I don't think I can do the breathing at all, and I would probably will get crazy dealing with the pain. The breathing did helped a lot for me to handle the pain because without it, the pain will be unbearable. Good breathing is the only way you can get through the process. Time goes by, and the pain did not get easier. I spent so much energy trying to get through each phases. Without me realizing it, suddenly the sun was up and the clock showed that it was 8a.m. It was the time when I feel any breathing couldn't ease the pain anymore. Suddenly, the pain I felt was so strong and accompanied by the urge to pass motion. I told 'A' that I wanted to go to the toilet. Then he called the midwife saying that I wanted to go the toilet. Then, when the contraction subsides, I don't feel like going to the toilet anymore. So confusing, I know.

For those of you who not yet go into labor, contraction will get stronger and more frequent as the labor progresses. So, like 3 minutes later I screamed for toilet again. I really..scream.. guys...although I had sworn I won't be one of those dramatic lady in labor. But then I cancelled the call again as the contraction subsided. As I told you, the contraction only gets stronger. Another 3 minutes later, the urge to pass motion came again and it was way way stronger and uncontrollable that I just let whatever my body wants to do. I tried to push the 'stool' out of me, but all I feel was air coming out from the anus. lol xp. Turned out guys, that's the signal your body gave when you are ready to push.

The midwives finally came into the room and this time she took my scream seriously and finally took the initiative to check my opening. sigh..then she discovered that I have fully dilated T_T It's all because everyone assumed that I might take longer to reach the full dilation T_T Now I know what it feels like when they said they really want to push. It's your body did it. It's your body that made you want to push. I tried my best to keep to the breathing technique but it was too painful that all I did was screamed for help..help to ease the pain. I tried so hard not to scream though, but I'm just a human..with no experience in labor T_T

They immediately prepared the room for labor and called the doctor. Although all the process will be assisted by the midwife, the presence of a doctor is still required in case there's any complications that might need their intervention. Anyway, thank God everything was ready by the time clock struck 9 as that was the time the doctor arrived (it was Saturday). I had no idea how to do it, so the midwife was so patient teaching me how to push and attempted several styles that could help me with the labor. By the way, nothing really helped, finally I settled with the standard position..baring je.

After 2 hours, many attempts of pushes and beggings for caesarean, I finally succeeded delivering a healthy baby girl. It was so difficult, I tell you. And it's true people say that after the baby is out, all the pain is gone. Despite of that, down there you still feel pain la...when the doctor took over to stitch me up, I gasped and asked her whether the procedure is gonna be painful. Then she showed me a syringe filled with local anaesthetic. I was so relieved, you guys. The saying that you won't feel pain during stitches is not true for me, I think, because I felt it strongly when she injected me, let alone all the stitches without numbing that part first!

The push, it was so hard for me. I think part of it was because I was drained of energy and I was so hungry. Because of the hunger, I looked up the clock and saw the time. It was 8a.m. That's how I remembers the time. I was already tired while dealing with the contractions for 12 hours. I remember I kept telling 'A' I was tired and keep saying "I can't do this". Then, the contraction came despite of how not ready or how tired you are. You just had to deal with it. 

I remember I keep asking for water in between contractions. According to 'A' my energy booster was this lemon tea. He said I appear to be able to have a fruitful push after he fed me with this lemon tea. Maybe you guys can add this into your list for possible energy booster in labor. heh.

'A'

'A' yang sedang membuat onar dalam labor room. This time I still can laugh and make jokes. A few hours later...you don't wanna know.umpama dirasuk >,<

'A' managed to get some sleep. I was still in latent phase this time, so I actively messaging with my friends on the phone. Still optimistic about labor and refused to get some sleep. What a wrong move! 

It was also awkward for me to deal with different 'A'. Both of us rarely act serious. We both always being sarcastic to each other and always twisted things to make it funny. So, when dealing with life and death situation like that, I don't know how do I deal with 'A'. I saw his eyes got wet while cheering for me. He came out with some serious quotes in which if on different days we both will end up bursting in laughter. It was so not fun looking at 'A' like that. I wish I can tell him don't be sad/ don't cry, I'm fine. But, I was seriously in pain. Maybe that would be the only time I will allow him being all serious with quotes and all without making fun of him. and of course 'A' had some serious tears coming out when he sees his daughter came out of me, perfect, healthy and so beautiful. 

Baby girl

We have been waiting for her arrival for 5 years. So, when we hear her first cry and the midwife said that the baby is perfect (and kept saying how she resembles 'A'), we were overcame with joy. I cried, obviously, and said to 'A' we are finally a parents, a status we have been patiently waited for. I think 'A' was so happy for one, he is now a dad, and two, for the fact that I did it.

The doctor had been telling me that my baby will resembles her father a lot since she was in my belly. When she came out, that was what everyone was saying. As soon as the head was out, the midwife immediately declared that the baby looks like the daddy. Sigh..after all the push and dramas, she came out looking like daddy in every ways. Nevertheless, alhamdulillah for her to be one healthy baby. She's indeed looked a lot like 'A'. Now I need to go all through this again until I get one looking like me..at least. heh.


Post-labor

Skin to skin contact (STS) was done first as soon as she came out. The midwife made the baby latch on both breasts for a few minutes and took her away for a while for a thorough check up.

We were so exhausted after battling for more than 12 hours. We were given a 2 hour bonding time with the baby in the labor room. 'A' held the baby for a moment to whisper than and iqamah to her ears. Then, she was placed on my chest again for STS and after that, I passed out. When I wake up, I saw 'A' sleeping on the sofa and baby was sleeping on my chest. Apparently, we were all fell asleep! nice bonding time.

The midwife then sponge-bathed me and changed my cloth. I didn't have to lift a finger. She changed my diaper several times until she think the blood could be well absorbed by the maternity pads. I finally had my meal after my last one, yesterday's dinner. Then I was wheeled to the ward. It was around 3pm when I settled in the bed that I'm going to spend on for the next 7 days.


p/s: I should stop here. There's a lot more stories to share with my future self and to you, readers. I think I don't know many things until I experienced it myself. It's either people are being selective in telling their stories or they are just lucky to have everything went so smoothly. Enough for me to tell you, labor and contractions, they are just the beginning. The tougher journey ahead is going to be more challenging at least at emotional level. No, it's not the baby that tested you, it's your body. Ok, enough with the clue. I'll leave you here. See you in the next entry!

 

The baby girl who has changed my world and myself. The one who has made me a mother :)

When the water broke

April 1st 2016..

It was a fine Friday. 

The weather was at its best, not so cold and yet not so warm, just enough to elaborate the kindness of spring would bring. In addition to that, the long awaited sakura was in the full bloom (mangkai). Unlike last year which witnessed quite a rainy sakura season, this year's mangkai was accompanied a much friendlier weather. Like the rest of the population, I have the same idea in mind, i.e. going for hanami on the next day, which happened to be Saturday. I can't explain more of the strategic time the sakura got mangkai. It was almost sure that everyone of us will be able to experience a nice hanami with our families and loved ones.

So, it happened that on that particular week, I decided to start my maternity leave, although I was really 50-50 about it. On Monday until Wednesday, I was full dressed for work before I decided not to go because dressing up itself drained me of the energy of the day. At the end, I stayed in, in full dress, watching the TV while counting the minutes 'A' is back from work. Meanwhile, 'A' was very happy every time I told him I didn't go to work. He was so worried of the possibilities I will go to labor while at work. That Friday too, I was at home, sleeping most of the morning. Then I filled my time planning for the next day hanami (sakura viewing while having picnic). I was so ready to go all out for hanami this time because of the great weather and just the right amount of sun. I tried on a few dresses while imagining how I wanted to look like in a picture with sakura and me, pregnant. I tweeted about the activities and how happy I was to discover that I still can fit into my XS maxi dresses. But, at the end I decided not to dress in any maxi/gowns at all as that kind of dress will only exaggerated my pregger's body.

After deciding on what I would wear for hanami, I went out to buy some stuff for the picnic. On the way to the supermarket, I took photos of the sakura tree around our housing areas and tweeted it.

I was supposed to enter week 39 on that Saturday. Almost everyone told me I would probably exceeds 40 weeks given that it was my first time giving birth and because of the gender of my baby. Although I didn't want to believe that, but after so many people said it, it had set well in my mind. That's why both of us ('A' and me) was very slow in completing the baby's necessities and that includes the hospital bag. 

While walking, suddenly I felt a gush of water coming down from down there. I convinced myself that I might peed myself again as I did the previous Sunday after sneezing. But this time, I was neither sneezing nor coughing. I stalled when I feel it at first. I continued walking and that time the water came out much more and I was convinced it wasn't from the bladder because I can't seem to able to control it. Then, I turn back trying to walk towards my house and oh my God, the water came out like its nobody's business. I walk as fast as I could (I was so huge, how fast could I go especially with water gushing out from under you like that). I searched for my phone and you know, at times like this our phones usually decided to sink deeper in the bag! arghh.. at that time I attracted dogs who happened to cross my path. 

When finally I reached home, the keys decided to hide themselves and I happened to carry a lady Dior. That bag is so hard to fish out for things because of its firm body (double sigh). The water came out much more as I was standing still fishing for the keys. My pants and socks..soaked. I stepped into the house with trails of amniotic fluid following me. I was panicked and didn't know what to do. I panicked not because of the fact that it's amniotic fluid, but because I don't know how to manage the leaking water. I changed pants and wear an overnight pad, still it got soaked so fast until there's no pants left anymore. So, I was worried what to do if I don't have pants. What to wear to the hospital. 

I called 'A' and he was so panicked although I told him I didn't feel any pain, yet. He arrived home in 10 minutes. Thank God his office is so close to home. While waiting for him, I try to grab all the necessities for the baby. I grabbed everything that crossed my mind, but still it wasn't complete. 

It was 6 o'clock when we left home.

My ride to the hospital -_-"

On the way to the hospital, 'A' called the hospital to tell them about our arrival. The midwife asked me about my condition whether I feel any pain and the color of the amniotic fluid. The admission people has already expecting us with all the documents necessary (it was amazing as it was only 15 minutes journey from home). We were told to go straight to the labor room where a midwife stood there, waiting for us. 

The midwife asked me to pee and immediately checking my opening. It was so difficult for me to do all these procedures because of every moves seems to accelerate the leakage. I think I used up the whole pack of overnight pads at this point. 

So, what was my condition at that time? My opening was still around 2cm (I was at 2cm from week 36). Then we were ushered to the labor room where we were told that we are going to stay until the baby comes out. It was 7 p.m. by then.

*to be continued*

This post is getting longer, so I'm going to break the story into two parts. So, I'm going to stop the story of my April 1st of 2016 here. See you in the next episode where hopefully we are going to see the climax!

Ika-pea

It's been two days I've been craving ika-pea (squid-flavored peanuts). But, the one that I like is from Daiso. I didn't have time to go or have any encounter with Daiso, so, I told myself to be patient a bit until we can find the opportunity to get some.

Yesterday, a miracle happened.

'A' arrived home much earlier than me. And I didn't even home late. So, imagine how early he was.

So, after I cooked and had our dinner, I asked him to go buy me some ika-pea given that how young they night still is. I didn't think I was too much as I rarely asked him to fulfill my pregnancy cravings.

He said he will go buy me some but he wanted to watch the TV first. 

I was so excited, I could feel crunchiness of the ika-pea in my mouth already.

Then, he fell asleep. The thing with me is, I never would wake him up when I know he was tired from work just to ask him to buy me snacks. I know we are entitled to do so as a wife, pregnant and all. But, I never had the heart. Then I tell myself, "it's ok, the night is still young. He has two hours before the shop close". But, to my disappointment, he slept until late that night that I need to wake him up for Isya'. 

When he wake up, he realized that it's already midnight and his face was filled with guilt. I was controlling myself from crying for not be able to taste the salty and crunchy and addictive ika-pea that I was expecting to finally have it a few hours before. But he's lucky I didn't let my emotion took over my sanity. I know there'll be tomorrow and ika-pea is not worth a fight or emotional disturbance on my part. 

So, I just go to sleep with a plan to stop by Daiso on the way to work tomorrow. 

Because 'A' has already slept for hours, he stayed up that night. But, at 1am I was awaken by pain felt like the period cramp. I thought I was dreaming, but when I open my eyes I realized the pain is real and made me remember the dreadful monthly routine that I had to endure pre-pregnancy. While dealing with the pain, I heard 'A''s movement around the house. Then, at 2, he went out. I think he went out for about 20 minutes. I guessed he might do something with the car or he was fetching his bicycle which he left it at his office that evening. 

Then, morning came. On the dining table I saw packs and packs of variety of nuts from 7-Eleven. Then I know where he went to at 2am that morning :) There's no ika-pea

among the loots though. Coz 7E does not sell ika-pea. But, I still touched by his gesture :) 

Thank you, sayang :') 

Maternity photoshoot

I don't really have photos of my pregnant self by months or weeks like many others do especially when it's their first pregnancy. I don't know if I will ever regret that, I don't really know. But, I don't really have those. I took photos occasionally like days I wasn't pregnant. Like, when I meet people, on special occasion, etc. for the purpose of not recording my pregnant self. You know what I mean?

Family and friends, they did asked for the photos of me, pregnant. Maybe this is my first time and everyone is curious how this so-petite body can carry a child. hehe. So, I tried to selfie myself in front of the mirror, but I failed most of the time. After some training with my friend who is so good at taking pregnancy selfie, I managed to snap one or two but not suitable to share as I was wearing pyjama. lol xp. 

Then suddenly I'm at my third trimester and realized we have no proper photos or memorabilia of our pregnancy. I would probably don't think it as a big matter now, but I'm afraid I might regret it later. Who knows I wouldn't be given another (nauzubillah minzalik). I told my friend here that I don't have a single nice photo of me pregnant and she thinks I should take a few. She even went to the studio for it. 

I told 'A' about my concern of us lacking pregnancy memorabilia. He's a guy, so of course he doesn't really know that it's a thing. But, he's fond of the idea and strongly think that we need that. Despite of my concern, I was so lazy to drag myself into doing this photoshoot. haha. I don't know why. 

This one Saturday, suddenly the weather was so nice that we can ditch those heavy winter coat and roam happily in the Japanese garden which happened to exist only 2 minutes away from our home. After much contemplation, 'A' finally succeeded to take me out of the house and finally getting our decent shoots as the first time parents :) 

We often just pass by the garden, but this time we finally had the reason to stop by and enjoy every inch of the garden. So, from here you know that we didn't use any professional photographer. All tripod-assisted shoots. So jimat!

#walrus

Aiskrim Biru

Before I got married and move to Japan, I can swear to you I maybe eat ice cream in a frequency of em..3 times a year. The most I think. When I feel like eating ice-cream, I'll look for the high-end ones la because I rarely had them, right? 

Call it fate, I got married to 'A' who eats ice cream like they are staple food. OMG! Really!

The first few days being married to him, I was shocked how he can eat ice cream so much at a time. Despite of witnessing this bizarre (to me) talent of him, my likes towards ice cream still did not improved. So, this is one thing about married couple completing each other. One is an extreme ice cream consumer, and another is just so repulsive. It's good that we are now living in Japan. I think their sweets; i.e. ice cream, chocolates, are less sugary than ours in Malaysia. However, this opinion of mine still needs some back ups as I don't know whether that really is caused by the content itself or  it's actually the palate given that the weathers are different. 

Selection of supermarket ice creams in Japan is so banyak! Banyak sangat! haha. Really. 

From the simplest ones like matcha and red beans on stick to some complicated ones which consist of layers of fruits and chocolates. Among them, 'A''s favorite is this one simple stick ice cream which consisted of vanilla ice cream coated with blue soda, which I always call 'eskem biru'. 

I remember I told him, "Among so many ice creams I see you eat, I hate this eskem biru. It's like so boring!Like tak ada makna." followed by me ranting about how he should choose ice cream (coming from some one who doesn't eat ice cream, I know).

It's funny how the universe works some times. Now that I'm carrying his baby, my appetite has completely transformed to 'A''s! Currently, I'm the one who stock up 'eskem biru'. Sometimes he doesn't even know that we have it in the house. A few times I was woken up by dreaming of eating eskem biru. So, I will go to the fridge and eat one. Yeah, that's how my addiction with eskem biru was, up until a few days ago that I got busted eating too much ice cream. The nurse who took care of my well being asked me to stop eating ice cream, snacks and cut my fruit intake *cries a river*. I think I was in my worst mood for two days due to withdrawal. I really suffered a lot for one, there are still plenty of eskem biru in the freezer and two, 'A''s chomping sound while eating the eskem biru is the new sound of nail screeching on the chalkboard to me. Suddenly the sounds of he's licking and sucking the ice cream is amplified for 100x. I really am going crazy that time, which was just a few days ago. 

By the way, due to rapid weight gain I'm having for these few weeks (only), I was strictly advised to stop taking all kinds of snacks, sweets or salty. I was so depressed leaving the hospital on that particular day thinking about my 'eskem biru' that I just stocked up that morning. I could imagine the smell and the joy it brought when I had them while watching Pawn Stars. sigh... Goodbye 'eskem biru' for now (3 months at least >,<).

This is the legendary 'eskem biru' that is now haunting me..I almost put a box in my shopping basket just now. Amazed at my own self-control which honestly, barely exist.

Second Trimester

It's over already. 

And the sad thing about it is, I forgot most of the things I went through already. 

I finally open my blog (while waiting for 'A' to pick me up because it's too cold outside for me to walk home). I clicked on the previous posts and..I like the feeling. Memories that I'll surely take for granted if I haven't written it down.

Anyway, this post will be written much slowly, as I'm trying to recall all the small, big things I went through when I was in my second trimester.

1. The saying that second trimester is the time for us to enjoy is very true. For yours truly, I felt like myself again on my 12 weeks, 1 day of pregnancy. Yes, the first day of the second trimester, I instantly felt like myself again. I regain my health and energy that I almost forgot how it feels like. I was so grateful. It's exactly like when you wake up, you became someone else. tsk..the power of hormone. But, unfortunately, not all mommies get to enjoy their second trimester well. Many around me were still experiencing pregnancy sickness such as nausea, lethargic, excess vomiting, etc. 

2. First kick was felt when I was at 18 weeks. I was praying, and when I perform rukuk, I felt a strong kick to my diaphragm. It was very strong that I moved a bit. haha..I remember I was waiting for the kick because everyone around me was asking if I could feel it. I was so relieved to finally feel it. 

3. At 18 weeks, the doctor could see the face of my baby and said to me (without hesitation) that the baby will look like the father. And I said (in my mind), that it is still too early. Maybe it will change. 

It does not, people. The baby still is looking like daddy till date :/ Oh, and the gender was discovered at week-18 also. And it doesn't change until today. haha xp. 

4. Apparently, baby will not just looking like daddy, he/she has appetite like daddy also. I've been eating like 'A'. Symptoms of transforming to 'A' started off at the second trimester and getting more pronounced now that I am at my third trimester. For example, ice creams and chips. I don't eat these two. Ice cream? I hardly eat them. When I got married with 'ice-cream ghost' (direct translation for hantu aiskrim), only I familiarize myself with ice-cream. But usually I could only eat one or two spoons, the most. But, this pregnancy changes me. I'm the one who is stocking up ice cream and we had a hard time with sharing. There can't be two 'ice-cream ghost' in a house I guess. But, 'A' might as well prepare for that in a few years!

5. Weight gain wasn't an issue during this time. I hardly gain any. Maybe because I became myself again. My 'original-self' is someone who doesn't eat in a large portion. Instead, I used to eat many times, but in small quantity. I can't say if it is self-taught, but that's who I am. I gained a lot during my first trimester and now that I'm at my third trimester. During the first trimester, the hunger I felt was so out of control. So, I ate a lot of times of nasi berlauk and snacks. I carried so many kinds of snacks in my bags but baby doesn't like snacks. He/she only wants fine dining T_T Now at third trimester, I still feels like myself but the weight gain is so rapid that I have no idea where they came from. can anybody explain this >,<

6. One of the thing I was worried when I got pregnant abroad is food cravings. But, so far, alhamdulillah..I didn't experience any food cravings that are impossible to get. Among the food that I craved for were lychees and fruit cake. I freaked out when suddenly I really wanted lychees. Because lychee is not a common fruits in here. But, luckily canned lychees are usually as good as the fresh ones and my baby (and myself) seems to tolerate it well. So, I think I ate about 10 canned lychees until my cravings satisfied. There's one can left at home and it's been months there. I didn't attract me anymore as the craving isn't there anymore.

7. Wardrobe malfunction started and it was no joke. I can't remember when was the last time I had to shop for attired because of needs. Usually, I shop for attire because of wants or because I like it. But this time, I shop because I had to. For comfort. Especially all the undies and all. Many of my friend survived with their pre-pregnancy undies, which I find it awesome. I looked for maternity undies and pants when I was in my 6th months I think. During that time, my belly wasn't that big that I need maternity pants. But, when I tried them on (despite of how ugly they are when hanged), I felt so relieved at the belly part. So, I just grab a few and practically live inside it till today. Only at 30weeks plus the maternity pants really fits me well though. Before that they were slightly loose but it's okay. As for the top, not much problem except if they have very precise cutting on your body. But, at the second trimester, I don't think you'll have any problem fitting in. Now at 36 weeks, I finally found myself needing to put a lot of effort to fit in into my tops except the loose ones. So, I guess saber jela for a few more weeks wearing the same loose tops I have in my wardrobe. And of course, juba and abayas would be the best to save the day. Unfortunately, it is cold now, thus pants and tops.

8. Pregnancy brain. I think I experienced pregnancy brain at the slightest maybe. I think this progesterone made me lost for words so many times. The frequency is too much even I noticed it. Well, it's maybe just me getting old though.

False alarm

I used to love the Big Bang Theory TV series. But, my like towards the show slowly faded at season 6 until now I'm not sure how many season there are anymore. Starting at season 7, it was very hard for me to really laugh at their trying-too-hard jokes. But, episodes from season 1 to 5 are still on re-run on my iPad whenever I feel like laughing. hehe.

Just last week, I experienced something new which  I wasn't sure whether it was caused by pregnancy. The day was Tuesday. While I was getting ready to go to work, I did my usual stuff like going to the toilet first to do all the businesses necessary before I enter the bathroom. As I seated with a Running Man episode played on my iPad, I feel pain at my abdomen which I wasn't sure whether it came from the stomach or the uterus part. I thought that was just a terrible case of 'gas stuck in my gut. But, the pain got more excruciating as I was trying to calm myself. A few minutes later, I feel like vomiting. The pain made it difficult for me to move. I started to talk to the baby, I hope it wasn't related to him/her or any condition that might affect him/her.

Anyway, I crawled my way to the bed and look for phone. I was so close to call an ambulance. I dialed 'A's number which I rarely do. I always avoided to disturb him at work. But he didn't read messages, so I had to ring him this time. Luckily he picked up, and I told him 'I have pain at my belly and I'm worried that it might be the baby'. I even consider appendicitis but was too in pain to really read about it further. At first 'A' was skeptical because he thought I might just have stomach pain because I tend to eat various things in the morning since the pregnancy. lol xp. But, when I mentioned the baby, he got paranoid and reached home about one hour later. 

I fell asleep while waiting for him to arrive. I woke up when I heard someone opened the door. When I saw 'A', suddenly the pain was not there anymore and I was feeling very healthy, healthier than 1 hour ago. ahaha xp But too late, 'A' has arranged appointment with the doctor and not intend to cancel it. I understand how difficult it is to push an emergency case at the gynea. I just went ahead with the appointment and of course baby and mummy are healthy. Alhamdulillah.. The doctor must feel annoyed entertaining the two paranoid parents.

This story is just a bad example of a person who knows too much, thinks too much and a bad gassy reaction. Now I understand how Sheldon feels...

I must have definitely eaten something too gassy. Sorry guys, this gassy occurrences are too new to me. I wasn't a gassy person pre-pregnancy. But, anything for you dear my baby :)

Pregnancy in Japan-the early phase

I have to pen down this one. I believe, this will be the experience of a lifetime :) 

And I should write it before I forgot everything.

After the UPT test, we tried not to bring the issue out all the time. It's like both of us keep it low even among ourselves. 'A' especially was very calm in receiving the news, unlike what we always see in the TV. I think he tried to not be too happy in front of me, so that I won't feel the pressure. You know, the pressure for the fact that he has been longing to be a daddy for so long but won't talk about it. 

I started doing some reading here and there. My sources are my friends who have been through the experience and wrote it somewhere (blog, Facebook, etc). Different people experienced it differently. Some only go to the doctor only when they have reached 8 to 10 weeks. It's either because of policy or it's just them. So, I thought, I would probably go at week 8 then.

Then, I was so rajin google about pregnancy in Japan. The steps I have to take as soon as I have my UPT positive. Apparently, in Japan you need to go to the doctor as soon as you get positive UPT. In here, it is very important to have prenatal care as early as possible. I showed that article to 'A' and he paranoid like always (when it comes about me), tried to search for a good gynea (can speak english and easy access. It is a plus if it's a woman). 

I was at week 3 when we had our first appointment. The doctor did the ultrasound to validate the UPT test and immediately we could see the gestational sac :) It was the moment of truth and 'A' is more convinced and was showing more emotion than before. While I, was over the moon. I forgot every questions I wanted to ask the doctor. Everything was forgotten. It was a very nice timing as the next day we were schedule for flight back to KL to celebrate Syawal, the remaining of it as it was the last week of Syawal. So, we managed to share the news with our close family members.

I just want a nice small album to keep the ultrasound photo. But, 'A' had a better idea. He said he had eyed this maternity album for so long. I didn't know they even make this. It's so cute inside!

The doctor asked us to come again at 8 weeks to check for the heartbeat. 

At week 8, we went for another check-up. I was even more relieved to know that our baby survived and I saw the beating of his/her heart from the ultrasound. This check confirmed my pregnancy and the doctor asked us to report my pregnancy to the city hall.

At the city hall, we were called into a counseling room where she asked me about myself and how do I feel of this pregnancy. Do I feel sad or happy, etc. Following that, she briefly explain to us what we have to do each months, the classes I need to follow, the vouchers I need to use, a lot more! I couldn't digest all. Too many informations! At the end, we were given a bag of books and pamphlets to study. Sigh..I was still at my first trimester then, I was tired all the time, so I'd say my acceptance to the information was only about 5%. So now, I just asked around the previous mummies of what to do. 'A' is just too busy studying baby gadgets >,<

Books and pamphlets for mummy and daddy to study. There are bag's tag for mummy so people would know that I'm pregnant. Also a number of vouchers to be used for mummy and baby until the baby is 1 year old. So, during the pregnancy and 1 year post-pregnancy, all the compulsory check up will be covered by the government.

That's it so far, I will update more on the milestones slowly of my journey. 

Announcing pregnancy

Actually, I don't plan to 'announce' my pregnancy. 

For me the season for me to join the excited mummy club has passed.  

Most my friends I think has passed that stage. You know, the stage where pregnancy is a big deal.

It's true in a way. The tone down feeling does not just come because everybody has passed it, but age may also be the factor. Coming from me alone, I wasn't that ecstatic that I want to shout it to the world that I'm pregnant like I have seen for years among my friends and keep wondering when will be my turn? I was instead, extremely thankful and filled with all the worries, you couldn't imagine. So, my acceptance towards my pregnancy news is more to relieved than ecstatic (or too ecstatic that I felt numb?). 

To me, at an advance age like this friends has shifted to other excitement, that is sending their kids to school. So, everybody is more interested at that rather than announcement that someone just got pregnant. Not a hot news anymore. haha. But, it's ok. I'm not one who succumbs into social pressure. People are gifted with different rizq at different time.

Anyway, I was thinking to just update my Facebook and instagram like usual without creating suspicion. I keep telling myself, I'm nobody so, it's not a big deal that I announce or not. I managed to do that...for 2 months only. sigh...

It's all started with my sharing of an article entitled 'Pregnancy in Japan'. This article is just a simple write up on the differences of pregnancy in Japan and other countries, at the surface. That's all. Just a few seconds after, that shared post got a lot of likes and followed by congratulatory wishes, private and non-private. Sigh...

I couldn't imagine my feeling if I wasn't even pregnant and my sharing is just for the sake of sharing. How would I feel? Lucky for them, I'm actually really pregnant. As soon I realized what's going on, I changed the view setting to close friends only. That helped stop the spreading for a while. 

Then at night my husband was telling me that something weird has happened. His phone was loaded with congratulatory wishes. Bahaha xp. So, this has also affected him (he rarely checked Facebook. Mine or his). So, I told him what happened and of course the blame is on me.  

Next day, I try to rectify the situation by posting a status that I considered ambiguous (to me.lol xp). And situation did not get any better. That has only make people even more suspicious and the congratulatory wishes pour in much more than the day before. 

But, when I look at the messages it made me realized, these people actually made du'a for me and the baby:')Alhamdulillah..

I don't know what is the big deal for me to hide it. I hope all of their du'a is granted and returned to them back.

tongue emotico smile emoticon

Week 13-the beginning of bad dreams series

When I'm writing this entry, I was at week 13 of pregnancy. Just finished my first trimester. 

This week, I noticed that I dreamt more frequently than I used to. I rarely had dreams. I guess that's the result of mind training and I don't like dreams. They made me scared of going to bed although when I was made to recall, the dreams did not have any scary element at all. I don't know why. I remember as a child, I would refused to go to bed at night as I scared of dreams. Of course I can't tell anybody that time as who would understand me?

This week, the dreams I had felt more real that it always made me woke up in the middle of the night either with bad feelings or a very loud thumping of my own heart. It was the loudest I have ever had that it almost burst our of my chest. I was worried for my baby, and I quickly composed myself together and told myself it was all a dream. I was fine seconds after.

In other dreams, I kept telling myself in that dream that it was all a dream, and I don't have to feel sad or scared. It works. I guess if I live in the divergent movie's era, I must probably the divergent. haha.

This one time, I had a dream that I rescued a dog and I wanted to keep it. But, knowing our community, it is not an option. When the neighborhood know that I keep the dog in my home, they went into my home and take the dog away. I remember I was heartbroken I trying to tell myself, this all must be a dream. Wake up. I did wake up, but when I wake up, I wanted to be in the dream again. I need to save the dog. I managed to get into the same dream and tell the dog I will look after him, even if its just in the dream. Then I remember I made du'a that Allah would allow me take care of the dog even if it's just in my dream. Then I woke up, still with sad feeling remains inside of me.

It's not like I never have dreams before, but dreams that happened lately feels so real.

One night I went to sleep with throbbing headache. I rarely have headache. Whenever I have it, it is usually unbearable for me. Usually, sleep it off would help. In the state I am in now, more the reason I avoid any drugs. That night I got a dream where my house was broken into. Tried to escape to the nearest petrol station but the burglar managed to chase me and trying catch me at the petrol station. Then I woke up. The chasing has made my heart beat really fast that I can hear it. My headache was still there when I woke up. The strong beating of the heart has made the headache worse that throbbing made sounds. All I can think of was my baby. Is she/he alright? Because the pumping of the blood felt like my head is going to burst. I tried not to think of all the bad consequences. I hope it wasn't that serious. I tried to compose myself and sleep again. See, the story wasn't that scary but since it felt so real, it affected my emotion while I sleep.

Then, one of these days, I made time to read about pregnancy at week 13. Then, I was greeted with 'are you having bad dreams?'. Oh my god..it's like they knew what is happening to me. Apparently, starting of week 13, I will experience more of bad dreams due to progesterone. Unfortunately, progesterone will mess with your sleep by giving you bad dreams. After I read that, I tried to have control over my mind, telling myself not dream. lol xp. Oh, I haven't had any bad dreams ever since I read about the revelations. Hopefully, this stays for a very long time. 

I hate bad dreams!

First Trimester

         Before, I've never really paid attention when women are talking about their first trimester symptoms. But, I somehow get it and never understood it. Part of me believed in them, and part of me was asking, "how come?" "is it that terrible?" "they kind of lose who they are. Is it real or it was just in their minds?" 

            Now, my time has came. And girls...it was that terrible. Although the process was torturing, but you can't really complained as you know, that's just the smallest kind of sacrifice you need to endure for the little miracle inside your womb. Now I know why my friends never said negatively about their first trimester experience. Strong woman they ae.

           Me? sigh...I tried guys. When I told my mom about my experience, I got something like this "Yeah...because you are too old already." -_-"  

             Geez...thanks mom.

        Anyway, only when I experiencing this, I started to ask around. And the result was, my experience was not as severe as most of my friends. The worst I heard some have them have endured;

i. Bedridden - and no, not because they are older, ok. In fact, I heard this from younger moms.

ii. Excessive vomiting - I can't remember when was the last time I vomit. Really. Maybe when I was 22, a day before I sat for my final papers due to food poisoning. That time, I felt really tested. 

iii. Can't smell food, hence can't get near kitchen, hence can't cook - I heard this so many times from my friends in here. While the wife is dealing with the first trimester, the husband will take over the cooking duty. That means, the husband needs to cook before leaving for work, and when they return home. Tough for both parties. I shudder to the possibility I might be experiencing the same thing as this symptoms is quite famous around me. Because..I can't eat my husband's cook..His cooking is just out of this world #sorrysayang.

iv. Can't smell food, hence can't eat, but you are hungry - I also hear this a lot. My very good friend who has just discovered that she's pregnant experienced this one. She can't smell food, but keeps feeling hungry and keeps vomiting her gut out! So, most of the times only water comes out of her. It must be really painful. I pray that Allah s.w.t eases her pain.

So, when I hear all of these, I feel very thankful that mine wasn't that severe and yet I felt like dying T_T So, here's the list of my symptoms:

i. Nausea

          This is the earliest symptoms for me. It started at week 4, when I was convinced that I might be one of the lucky star who may not have noticeable first trimester syndromes. I was at Malaysia during this time, celebrating the remaining of Syawal. And suddenly, I was tired (like the body ache you usually feel when you are about the have a fever) and the thought of seafood will make me nauseated. It is so sudden, no warning whatsoever. The next day, it got very noticeable that I nauseated whenever the sun sets. I was so nauseated even I don't understand myself. I can't find the solution to it and that made me so frustrated. If I don't understand what's going on, how to manage the feeling, I can't make my partner understand and help me. So, I just close my mouth and sleep it of. 

ii. Extreme tiredness 

         This is like body ache when you are having fever, but you don't have fever. All your joints, muscles feels like they are soaked with lactic acid during anaerobic respiration. I quickly google whether my condition is normal or it was just in my mind. I felt relieved to discover that it was normal for some woman to experience this. Phew....But, that was the toughest part for me, for someone living abroad in a non-muslim country. You see, I have to cook almost everyday. My husband brings bentou everyday and he usually come home very hungry. Looking at him eating dinner despite of how awful my cooking was is the highlight of my day. and of course..I can't eat his cookings. That's not an option. You must know that I also work with Japanese, which means longer working hour than we have in Malaysia. I have a flexible working hour, but usually the classes seminar will be held after working hour. I hope I can understand that too, but I don't. So, I need to stay until 8-9pm most of the days, and my nauseous was at its peak at these hours. I wanted to cry, but no use. I better accumulate any ATP left to walk back home (I can't ride bicycle as I am pregnant, remember? and I can't bring car as distance from home to university doesn't allow me to get a parking inside the campus. The minus point of working in the middle of the city). So, when I reach home, I need to push myself to do some cooking. It's not just for him, but for me and the baby. By that time usually I'll feel very hungry that the word hungry cannot explain it well anymore.

iii. Unexplainable state of hunger

             I'm serious guys. The hunger is something I never experienced before. I even woke up at 4am crying because I was too hungry. Then 'A' got me some cereal so that I can get back to sleep. And at 6am after fajr, I eat again. It gets more complicated for me because my baby doesn't seem to like snacks. He/She likes proper meal, hot food which is hard to get it in here except when I'm at home so that I can cook it myself. Seems like baby still didn't noticed that he/she is in Japan where we don't have food stalls every 10m T_T. 

             I told my doctor about my nausea strike and she said that also means that I'm hungry. I was like...really??!! Usually when I feel nauseated, I just want to lie down and sleep it off. It is something that I don't know how to deal with to make myself feel better. It seems like nothing in my knowledge about myself can shoo that nausea away. Anyway, I tried the doctor's advice although it was such a torture to shove food into your mouth while you are nauseated. Turned out, the doctor was right. I feel better a moment after forced eating. But, I don't think this tips work to those who have excess vomiting. It works on me as I didn't experience vomiting. Alhamdulillah for that.

iv. Pelvic pain

           Although I tried to cry whenever my symptoms got worse, I just can't. That means, I wasn't sad by it. But, I had pelvic pain a few times at around the time when the first trimester is about to come to an end. That one, I cried because my butt was in pain and I couldn't sleep or move freely and..'A' wasn't a good masseur. lol xp. After that one night that I cried to sleep with painful butt, the pain disappear the day after until now I haven't had any. Alhamdulillah. That just means my pelvis is preparing itself. It's ok. 

v. Food cravings

            Girls, the cravings for food that we always experience when we are in post-ovulation, is nothing compared to pregnancy cravings! 

               Before I discover I was pregnant, maybe about the first week, I started to crave for fish eggs, specifically fried one that we always find in Malaysia. But, in here the closest I could get was roe. Before, I don't like anything associated with roe. But, that evening I called husband to come home early because I craved for roe. He felt weird at first because he knew I don't eat roe. haha. On the way home, I bought bean sprouts- the kind of vegetables I rarely cook. I just don't like bean sprouts. but that evening, I crave for bean sprouts with a lot of tofu. So, I think 3 days in a row, I keep wanting to eat roe, bean sprout and I drove miles to buy green beans for I craved for 'bubur kacang hijau'. 

              All the cravings afterwards usually came in my dream first. The dream was very real, thus is made me more frustrated when I wake up. The two things I could not realized for my baby are gardenia bread and peanut butter jelly, and 'gulai pisang muda'. That one, mummy cannot make, sayang T_T. And can you believe me, there are no peanut butter jelly in Japan T_T I told my friend about my cravings and dream and she said she also experienced the same thing. Phew....again. I'm not alone.

              Now that the first trimester is over, the cravings also gone with the wind. Maybe there will be small cravings here and there, but I'm sure it will be much under control than the first trimester's one. That one, if can't get it, you'll feel like the world will be over. sigh..

vi. Hormonal Acnes

You know, as a modern day mom, I have to download the pregnancy app into my phone. So, it was so exciting that changes that happened to myself is so accurate according to the app. One day, the app said 'by this time maybe you will notice acnes start to appear..' and when I look into the mirror..I saw acnes. arghhh...It was totally the pregnancy's acnes. The acnes still come and go on my face (now week 13) but I don't bother to give my worry to it. It will be no use as it is all part of the process. Don't want to waste my energy fighting the nature. I hope the acnes will subdues soon. but if it's not, I will endure it as long as the little miracle inside me can grow healthily. 

My pregnancy so far is a textbook pregnancy. I hope it stays that way so that everything is explained better for myself. As soon as week 12 is over, my old self appear again. Everything that I used to think, I used to like, habits instilled in me again like they have never lost before. It's very difficult to explain and it does sounds like myths. But, here I assure you that when your pregnant wife said they don't feel like themselves or even they don't say it but you feel that way, it is just the pregnancy. It will be over in three months so, in the mean time, be patient with each other and help each other keep the positive vibes around!

Said the first-timer mom :p

My TTC journey

You know we are granted this miracle after only 5 years of marriage. No, I'm not complaining. I'm so blessed in other ways, waiting for a while is not a problem. The problem is the society we are living in. However, I'm one of the lucky person for Allah s.w.t sent me here as soon as I got married. He knows best that I may not be able to bear the pressure for what is coming in my way.

Anyway, we were in long distance marriage for 3 consecutive years. It's not like once a week, but it had reached once every 3 months or so, due to 'A's commitment, and also mine. But I can't keep explaining this to everybody who are so caring asking us when we are going to have a baby. Because, even I myself know, despite of the distance, frequency of baby dancing may not be the factor. If it is written it's your rizq, distance and frequency is not the main factor. If it is the time, one time try also can be fruitful. So, that's why, the correct answer for all kind of questions which all means 'why I still haven't got any children' is, it's not the time yet. But you know, who would like to hear such a cliche answer. So, during this 5 years, I was very thankful for the location I am in.

We finally live together like a married couple meant to be during our 4th year of marriage. After a month, I start to feel the pressure of wanting to get pregnant. I felt like I have too much love in me to give away. By that time I was convinced that 'A' feeling so rimas already with too much attention he was having :p

The pressure, it comes very naturally although you try to take over your mind. I told 'A' that I might need help (although it's just a month we've been living together). I said, although it's still very new, but I want to show the Almighty my effort, my kesungguhan to get our own zuriat. 'A' understands or I shall say, in a situation where you wife is in that fragile state like that, a husband would usually just said 'yes, mam!'.haha. So, he looked for a good doctor around the city that can speak english and can accept my case. It was very difficult to get a slot apparently. I managed to get a slot a month after we called. Wow, right?! But again, if you weren't 'kibishi' (fussy) in choosing your doctor, there are plenty more with shorter waiting time. In this case, it wasn't me who was kibishi, 'A' was and always is >,<

On the day of my first check-up, of course the doctor will interview me. It was easy for me as the doctor speaks english very well, so I don't need to choose my words wisely. But, since he is familiar with cases like mine, I wasn't made to tell much. Then he explained to me the list of check-up that he'll do to rule out my fertility problem.

There are 5 areas that you will be examined:
i. Blood test to check your hormone level (estrogen, progesterone, hypothalamus, pituitary)
ii. Ultrasound-checking the ovaries for abnormalities.
iii. X-ray to determine of any blockage in the fallopian tubes
iv. Colposcopy - To examine you cervix condition
v. Ultasound-checking your uterine lining

The figure that the doctor used to explain to me of the procedures.

All examinations were painless except the one that checks for blockage in your fallopian tube, in which the doctor will insert this blue liquid through your miss v, which feels so much like an intense period cramp. This liquid would travel through your fallopian tube. Subsequently, this blue liquid would be detected by the x-ray scanner. The doctor was aware that the procedure is painful for me, so he did that very quickly, so it was all good.

I waited about half an hour to get all the results. Alhamdulillah, 'A' and me are healthy, which made us more puzzle of why it was difficult for us to conceive. The doctor could not do much as doctors here are mostly pro natural for everything. So, he never mentioned to us to try for artificial options such as IUI  (intrauterine insemination) or IVF (in vitro fertilization). You have to listen to birth stories here, very scary but they believed it's all for the good of the mother post-delivery.

So, there are three ways to assisted TTC:
i. Timing method - the method recommended to us.
ii. IUI
iii. IVF
All methods are covered by insurance (in Japan), but for IVF, only 10-20% of the cost will be covered (if you are eligible).

Timing method

So, we proceed with timing method. For about 7 months (before I quit), the doctor helped me monitor my ovulation, as he and us thought it was the timing that we got wrong all these time. So, by helping us deduce the ovulation time, it will increase our chance at conception. Some months, we missed the correct time, and some it was not successful for God knows why. Some months we knew we definitely missed it as I need to travel abroad without 'A'. Some months my period was just longer than usual and doctor had to prescribed me with hormone pills. So far, the pills didn't work on me. I think my body has this way of override it. Even if the doctor increased the dose, my period cycle was still not shortened. Besides helping me at stimulating ovulation (on cycle which I ovulated later than usual), I was given HCG shots during two weeks post-ovulation. That was meant to help with the implantation should the conception occurs. I was also made to chart my basal body temperature (bbt) every morning (which 'A' was more committed doing than yours truly).

After 7 months of dealing with the unfruitful 'timing method', I quit clinic and started looking into IVF. I was considering the extreme measures because this one time suddenly I'm surrounded by successful IVF stories among friends. Although it cost a lot, but the rate of success at my age is higher than it's gonna be later. despite of our failure in 'timing method', I was still calm. Maybe this calmness was influenced by 'A' who is always calm anyway.

To finally got pregnant

However, in the midst of researching about IVF in Japan, I found myself pregnant. At the time when we least focus on trying to conceive, this miracle took place effortlessly in my body. We are extremely shocked but eternally grateful for Allah s.w.t finally answers our prayer :)

So in my opinion, if you and your spouse are proven to be medically healthy, all you need is patience, positivity and lots and lots of lots of du'a. I have so many people to thank, especially our mothers who never failed to make du'a for us. It is also important to surround yourself with positive people and remember to always put your trust in Him for He who knows what's best for you. Trust me, after everything that happened to us in the last 5 years and now, everything falls just on their right places :)

Baby dust to all ttc couples out there!

The early signs

Here's my early signs of pregnancy. You and me, we might have experienced different symptoms.

i. Tender breast.

Unfortunately, this is also the sign that I'm about to get  my period. But, if at day 18 of post-ovulation you still experience tender breast or the tenderness is more than you used to have, you might be pregnant. I read, change of areola's color also indicate pregnancy. But, I didn't experienced that, hence tender breast alone is not helping for me.

ii. Cramps.

I usually have cramps when the period due is approaching. But, the period cramp feels different, it feels like something is making its way down. The cramp I felt in early pregnancy is more like in situ (locally), the pain that moves horizontally. It's not something about to leave your womb. It's very hard to explain, but it's different. 

I felt it was different, but I didn't think that was the early sign of pregnancy that my baby is trying to attach his/herself on my womb. Oh I think the pregnancy cramp is a little bit more intense than the period cramp. When I got the cramps, I had to stop doing whatever I was doing at that time and deal with the cramp. 

iii. Lethargic.

I thought the lethargic has became me. Apparently it's just my body adjusting. haha. The tiredness is so annoying until you found out that it's the pregnancy.

iv. Implantation bleeding.

Among many early signs of pregnancy I keep track as one of those who is ttc (trying to conceive), implantation is one that I disregard. Because only a small percentage of woman get this. And from my experience, I am not that lucky to be given an easy clue like that. lol xp.

And yes, I got the implantation bleeding which I mistook for period stain. lol xp. It was different from period stain btw, it is darker and very slight that if you wear a black or dark-colored panty you might not be able to see it. haha. Yes, always wear panty liner girls.