Friday, October 30, 2015


Have you read the book WTF 23 properties by 30, by Mr. Faizul Ridzuan?
I like to read, but my choice of book is so complicated. So, when my SIL told me about the book, I instantly became interested. She told me about small tricks that's applicable by practically everyone. I was amused!So, I borrowed the book from her, and decided to finish reading it on the plane home to Japan.I plan to make 'A' read it too as he is now into property, but having totally zero knowledge about it. I think the book will be a good start. Also, he has been telling me that he wanted to start reading. I think he never read a book except our holy book.

Anyway, after finished reading the book, I was impressed by the author's achievements. Of course la kan. For me, to get into his level does not just involve a lot of research and brains, but also a lot of sacrifices. Good thing for Mr Faizul, he is focus and has only one thing in mind, i.e property.
Basically, the formula that he adopted is, use the money you have to make more money. Like when finally have RM50k, you can't use the money to buy whatever you have in mind, but instead you roll the money to get another 50k. For him is buying properties. But for many others could be gold, fashion, etc. I guess you get the drill. But for many of us, we like to buy for satisfaction. It will be unfortunate if the satisfaction factor involved things that degrade in price, like cars and...handbags!

It's been months, but 'A' still hasn't open the book. But I think he already know what's in it, because when I read, I will cite everything that I found interesting, that is most of the pages. lol xp. So, it is okay if he doesn't read it first hand. 

Also, it's been years 'A' contemplating to buy car for him to bring back to Malaysia. You know each of us is given an AP to bring back a car. So, we must use this once in a lifetime AP to a good use. Must buy the nicest car (i.e. economical) and oh boy, it's so hard to decide. What's hard about it you ask? The Japan's prices are very affordable. That's why many of us buy car using cash. Rarely you heard people buy car using loans. The dilemma came when dealing with Malaysia's custom tax later. It could reach 200% worth of tax if we buy the most recent car. But, it was so stressful to see these new cars with such an affordable price but had to forget about it when thinking about how awful the tax later. Could be higher than the car's price! 

'A' is very passionate about cars. That could be the main factor for him to be an engineer in that department. He has been stressing about what car to buy to bring back home. If can, we want to reduce the number of potential loans we might need to have when we settle in Malaysia. Now, we only have house loan, and that already made us uncomfortable. I can't imagine people having house loans, car loans, etc. But, I know, it is how many of us live. 

Anyway, I've been telling 'A' not to use all the saving he has for one car. Then I cite the book (WTF) about using the money we have, into making more money. Spending most of the saving for one car, to me, doesn't sounds like the correct move. Now, I understand why people take loans for a car. haha. So, they won't need to use all the cash they have. So, the cash they have can be used to make more cash. Hmm, now I'm not sure anymore which one is better. I wish I could forget that loans are debt. If I can do that, maybe I can adopt the same formula as the book. But it's business kan, must have its risk.

I keep reminding 'A' about the tips in WTF book, and choose cheaper car (which is of course not so economical and will be a waste of AP). He always disagrees and said "I can't follow him, because he doesn't like cars". 

Err...yes, the author doesn't like car. 
So, different people have different priorities huh!

Tuesday, October 27, 2015

Week 13-the beginning of bad dreams series

When I'm writing this entry, I was at week 13 of pregnancy. Just finished my first trimester. 
This week, I noticed that I dreamt more frequently than I used to. I rarely had dreams. I guess that's the result of mind training and I don't like dreams. They made me scared of going to bed although when I was made to recall, the dreams did not have any scary element at all. I don't know why. I remember as a child, I would refused to go to bed at night as I scared of dreams. Of course I can't tell anybody that time as who would understand me?

This week, the dreams I had felt more real that it always made me woke up in the middle of the night either with bad feelings or a very loud thumping of my own heart. It was the loudest I have ever had that it almost burst our of my chest. I was worried for my baby, and I quickly composed myself together and told myself it was all a dream. I was fine seconds after.

In other dreams, I kept telling myself in that dream that it was all a dream, and I don't have to feel sad or scared. It works. I guess if I live in the divergent movie's era, I must probably the divergent. haha.

This one time, I had a dream that I rescued a dog and I wanted to keep it. But, knowing our community, it is not an option. When the neighborhood know that I keep the dog in my home, they went into my home and take the dog away. I remember I was heartbroken I trying to tell myself, this all must be a dream. Wake up. I did wake up, but when I wake up, I wanted to be in the dream again. I need to save the dog. I managed to get into the same dream and tell the dog I will look after him, even if its just in the dream. Then I remember I made du'a that Allah would allow me take care of the dog even if it's just in my dream. Then I woke up, still with sad feeling remains inside of me.

It's not like I never have dreams before, but dreams that happened lately feels so real.

One night I went to sleep with throbbing headache. I rarely have headache. Whenever I have it, it is usually unbearable for me. Usually, sleep it off would help. In the state I am in now, more the reason I avoid any drugs. That night I got a dream where my house was broken into. Tried to escape to the nearest petrol station but the burglar managed to chase me and trying catch me at the petrol station. Then I woke up. The chasing has made my heart beat really fast that I can hear it. My headache was still there when I woke up. The strong beating of the heart has made the headache worse that throbbing made sounds. All I can think of was my baby. Is she/he alright? Because the pumping of the blood felt like my head is going to burst. I tried not to think of all the bad consequences. I hope it wasn't that serious. I tried to compose myself and sleep again. See, the story wasn't that scary but since it felt so real, it affected my emotion while I sleep.

Then, one of these days, I made time to read about pregnancy at week 13. Then, I was greeted with 'are you having bad dreams?'. Oh my's like they knew what is happening to me. Apparently, starting of week 13, I will experience more of bad dreams due to progesterone. Unfortunately, progesterone will mess with your sleep by giving you bad dreams. After I read that, I tried to have control over my mind, telling myself not dream. lol xp. Oh, I haven't had any bad dreams ever since I read about the revelations. Hopefully, this stays for a very long time. 

I hate bad dreams!

Thursday, October 22, 2015

'A' is 31

'A' has turned 31 last weekend.
And I'm so glad that he's finally gonna be a father (inshaAllah). 
Sometimes I feel sorry for him when he hang out with his gang with only he with no kids. 
Although I know he was okay, we are okay, but kids surely made us happier, right?

So again, I was facing with the same problem, what to get him for his birthday????
It's not so often I get him anything. Er no, I think I rarely get him anything using my own money. heh! So, on his birthday I make it a mission to get him something good, something really special.
Of course at times, I would tell him this one problem of mine which never seemed to get solved. 
What to get him for a present? So far, I failed miserably.  These few years, he really being honest by telling me what he wanted and I know he wasn't kidding because I knew he was eyeing for them. The things are like a Mercedes GLA (or at least a C-class), a markII camera (he even offered to pay half of it), a Panerai (he said at least an Omega), or Rolex (he even accepted the preloved ones). So, if you are me, would you even consider them? Me? Not a chance. Anyway, why is men's toy is getting expensive by age? geez..

Anyway, he can keep on dreaming I would really buy those for him, or even consider any of it!

Since we are abroad with scarce number of Malaysians, we have only each other. I made it a mission to make his special day, a special one! I know I couldn't do much, but at least I made him know that someone in this world really adores him. That he has affected this particular person in many ways. If he couldn't realized that he's made this world a better place, I want him to know that at least he has changed the world of this one person to the better. 

It sounds like I threw him a headline's worthy party, isn't it?

No, I just make sure that I made him a cake and buy him present. A present that would signify he's turning 31, also at the same time letting him know that I love him and that he deserved something good for himself, at least on his birthday :)

I like it that people wish me as early as possible on my birthday. So, of course I would do that for him! When the clock struck 12, I took out the cake that I made in front of him (it's a Japanese house, how could you not see what each other's doing all the time), and lighted the candle. The thing was, he's already fast asleep at that time. And oh boy, it was so difficult to make him get up and blow the candles T_T

I made a red velvet cake. Of course because it is one of the easiest and sexiest cake there is. haha.
Oh, look at all the melted candles. By the time he wake up, tinggal lidi je T__T 
 When asked what's the special food he wanted on his birthday? 
The answer was..chicken nuggets. So, he had chicken nuggets all day.

Brought him to dinner by the river :) We didn't order much because his tummy was still full with chicken nuggets. What a waste of seats, the waitress must have thought. 

Happy birthday, dear my greatest blessing!

Tuesday, October 20, 2015

First Trimester

         Before, I've never really paid attention when women are talking about their first trimester symptoms. But, I somehow get it and never understood it. Part of me believed in them, and part of me was asking, "how come?" "is it that terrible?" "they kind of lose who they are. Is it real or it was just in their minds?" 

            Now, my time has came. And was that terrible. Although the process was torturing, but you can't really complained as you know, that's just the smallest kind of sacrifice you need to endure for the little miracle inside your womb. Now I know why my friends never said negatively about their first trimester experience. Strong woman they ae.

           Me? sigh...I tried guys. When I told my mom about my experience, I got something like this "Yeah...because you are too old already." -_-"  

             Geez...thanks mom.

        Anyway, only when I experiencing this, I started to ask around. And the result was, my experience was not as severe as most of my friends. The worst I heard some have them have endured;

i. Bedridden - and no, not because they are older, ok. In fact, I heard this from younger moms.

ii. Excessive vomiting - I can't remember when was the last time I vomit. Really. Maybe when I was 22, a day before I sat for my final papers due to food poisoning. That time, I felt really tested. 

iii. Can't smell food, hence can't get near kitchen, hence can't cook - I heard this so many times from my friends in here. While the wife is dealing with the first trimester, the husband will take over the cooking duty. That means, the husband needs to cook before leaving for work, and when they return home. Tough for both parties. I shudder to the possibility I might be experiencing the same thing as this symptoms is quite famous around me. Because..I can't eat my husband's cook..His cooking is just out of this world #sorrysayang.

iv. Can't smell food, hence can't eat, but you are hungry - I also hear this a lot. My very good friend who has just discovered that she's pregnant experienced this one. She can't smell food, but keeps feeling hungry and keeps vomiting her gut out! So, most of the times only water comes out of her. It must be really painful. I pray that Allah s.w.t eases her pain.

So, when I hear all of these, I feel very thankful that mine wasn't that severe and yet I felt like dying T_T So, here's the list of my symptoms:

i. Nausea
          This is the earliest symptoms for me. It started at week 4, when I was convinced that I might be one of the lucky star who may not have noticeable first trimester syndromes. I was at Malaysia during this time, celebrating the remaining of Syawal. And suddenly, I was tired (like the body ache you usually feel when you are about the have a fever) and the thought of seafood will make me nauseated. It is so sudden, no warning whatsoever. The next day, it got very noticeable that I nauseated whenever the sun sets. I was so nauseated even I don't understand myself. I can't find the solution to it and that made me so frustrated. If I don't understand what's going on, how to manage the feeling, I can't make my partner understand and help me. So, I just close my mouth and sleep it of. 

ii. Extreme tiredness 
         This is like body ache when you are having fever, but you don't have fever. All your joints, muscles feels like they are soaked with lactic acid during anaerobic respiration. I quickly google whether my condition is normal or it was just in my mind. I felt relieved to discover that it was normal for some woman to experience this. Phew....But, that was the toughest part for me, for someone living abroad in a non-muslim country. You see, I have to cook almost everyday. My husband brings bentou everyday and he usually come home very hungry. Looking at him eating dinner despite of how awful my cooking was is the highlight of my day. and of course..I can't eat his cookings. That's not an option. You must know that I also work with Japanese, which means longer working hour than we have in Malaysia. I have a flexible working hour, but usually the classes seminar will be held after working hour. I hope I can understand that too, but I don't. So, I need to stay until 8-9pm most of the days, and my nauseous was at its peak at these hours. I wanted to cry, but no use. I better accumulate any ATP left to walk back home (I can't ride bicycle as I am pregnant, remember? and I can't bring car as distance from home to university doesn't allow me to get a parking inside the campus. The minus point of working in the middle of the city). So, when I reach home, I need to push myself to do some cooking. It's not just for him, but for me and the baby. By that time usually I'll feel very hungry that the word hungry cannot explain it well anymore.

iii. Unexplainable state of hunger
             I'm serious guys. The hunger is something I never experienced before. I even woke up at 4am crying because I was too hungry. Then 'A' got me some cereal so that I can get back to sleep. And at 6am after fajr, I eat again. It gets more complicated for me because my baby doesn't seem to like snacks. He/She likes proper meal, hot food which is hard to get it in here except when I'm at home so that I can cook it myself. Seems like baby still didn't noticed that he/she is in Japan where we don't have food stalls every 10m T_T. 
             I told my doctor about my nausea strike and she said that also means that I'm hungry. I was like...really??!! Usually when I feel nauseated, I just want to lie down and sleep it off. It is something that I don't know how to deal with to make myself feel better. It seems like nothing in my knowledge about myself can shoo that nausea away. Anyway, I tried the doctor's advice although it was such a torture to shove food into your mouth while you are nauseated. Turned out, the doctor was right. I feel better a moment after forced eating. But, I don't think this tips work to those who have excess vomiting. It works on me as I didn't experience vomiting. Alhamdulillah for that.

iv. Pelvic pain
           Although I tried to cry whenever my symptoms got worse, I just can't. That means, I wasn't sad by it. But, I had pelvic pain a few times at around the time when the first trimester is about to come to an end. That one, I cried because my butt was in pain and I couldn't sleep or move freely and..'A' wasn't a good masseur. lol xp. After that one night that I cried to sleep with painful butt, the pain disappear the day after until now I haven't had any. Alhamdulillah. That just means my pelvis is preparing itself. It's ok. 

v. Food cravings
            Girls, the cravings for food that we always experience when we are in post-ovulation, is nothing compared to pregnancy cravings! 
               Before I discover I was pregnant, maybe about the first week, I started to crave for fish eggs, specifically fried one that we always find in Malaysia. But, in here the closest I could get was roe. Before, I don't like anything associated with roe. But, that evening I called husband to come home early because I craved for roe. He felt weird at first because he knew I don't eat roe. haha. On the way home, I bought bean sprouts- the kind of vegetables I rarely cook. I just don't like bean sprouts. but that evening, I crave for bean sprouts with a lot of tofu. So, I think 3 days in a row, I keep wanting to eat roe, bean sprout and I drove miles to buy green beans for I craved for 'bubur kacang hijau'. 
              All the cravings afterwards usually came in my dream first. The dream was very real, thus is made me more frustrated when I wake up. The two things I could not realized for my baby are gardenia bread and peanut butter jelly, and 'gulai pisang muda'. That one, mummy cannot make, sayang T_T. And can you believe me, there are no peanut butter jelly in Japan T_T I told my friend about my cravings and dream and she said she also experienced the same thing. Phew....again. I'm not alone.
              Now that the first trimester is over, the cravings also gone with the wind. Maybe there will be small cravings here and there, but I'm sure it will be much under control than the first trimester's one. That one, if can't get it, you'll feel like the world will be over. sigh..

vi. Hormonal Acnes
You know, as a modern day mom, I have to download the pregnancy app into my phone. So, it was so exciting that changes that happened to myself is so accurate according to the app. One day, the app said 'by this time maybe you will notice acnes start to appear..' and when I look into the mirror..I saw acnes. arghhh...It was totally the pregnancy's acnes. The acnes still come and go on my face (now week 13) but I don't bother to give my worry to it. It will be no use as it is all part of the process. Don't want to waste my energy fighting the nature. I hope the acnes will subdues soon. but if it's not, I will endure it as long as the little miracle inside me can grow healthily. 

My pregnancy so far is a textbook pregnancy. I hope it stays that way so that everything is explained better for myself. As soon as week 12 is over, my old self appear again. Everything that I used to think, I used to like, habits instilled in me again like they have never lost before. It's very difficult to explain and it does sounds like myths. But, here I assure you that when your pregnant wife said they don't feel like themselves or even they don't say it but you feel that way, it is just the pregnancy. It will be over in three months so, in the mean time, be patient with each other and help each other keep the positive vibes around!

Said the first-timer mom :p

Saturday, October 17, 2015

My TTC journey

You know we are granted this miracle after only 5 years of marriage. No, I'm not complaining. I'm so blessed in other ways, waiting for a while is not a problem. The problem is the society we are living in. However, I'm one of the lucky person for Allah s.w.t sent me here as soon as I got married. He knows best that I may not be able to bear the pressure for what is coming in my way.

Anyway, we were in long distance marriage for 3 consecutive years. It's not like once a week, but it had reached once every 3 months or so, due to 'A's commitment, and also mine. But I can't keep explaining this to everybody who are so caring asking us when we are going to have a baby. Because, even I myself know, despite of the distance, frequency of baby dancing may not be the factor. If it is written it's your rizq, distance and frequency is not the main factor. If it is the time, one time try also can be fruitful. So, that's why, the correct answer for all kind of questions which all means 'why I still haven't got any children' is, it's not the time yet. But you know, who would like to hear such a cliche answer. So, during this 5 years, I was very thankful for the location I am in.

We finally live together like a married couple meant to be during our 4th year of marriage. After a month, I start to feel the pressure of wanting to get pregnant. I felt like I have too much love in me to give away. By that time I was convinced that 'A' feeling so rimas already with too much attention he was having :p

The pressure, it comes very naturally although you try to take over your mind. I told 'A' that I might need help (although it's just a month we've been living together). I said, although it's still very new, but I want to show the Almighty my effort, my kesungguhan to get our own zuriat. 'A' understands or I shall say, in a situation where you wife is in that fragile state like that, a husband would usually just said 'yes, mam!'.haha. So, he looked for a good doctor around the city that can speak english and can accept my case. It was very difficult to get a slot apparently. I managed to get a slot a month after we called. Wow, right?! But again, if you weren't 'kibishi' (fussy) in choosing your doctor, there are plenty more with shorter waiting time. In this case, it wasn't me who was kibishi, 'A' was and always is >,<

On the day of my first check-up, of course the doctor will interview me. It was easy for me as the doctor speaks english very well, so I don't need to choose my words wisely. But, since he is familiar with cases like mine, I wasn't made to tell much. Then he explained to me the list of check-up that he'll do to rule out my fertility problem.

There are 5 areas that you will be examined:
i. Blood test to check your hormone level (estrogen, progesterone, hypothalamus, pituitary)
ii. Ultrasound-checking the ovaries for abnormalities.
iii. X-ray to determine of any blockage in the fallopian tubes
iv. Colposcopy - To examine you cervix condition
v. Ultasound-checking your uterine lining

The figure that the doctor used to explain to me of the procedures.

All examinations were painless except the one that checks for blockage in your fallopian tube, in which the doctor will insert this blue liquid through your miss v, which feels so much like an intense period cramp. This liquid would travel through your fallopian tube. Subsequently, this blue liquid would be detected by the x-ray scanner. The doctor was aware that the procedure is painful for me, so he did that very quickly, so it was all good.

I waited about half an hour to get all the results. Alhamdulillah, 'A' and me are healthy, which made us more puzzle of why it was difficult for us to conceive. The doctor could not do much as doctors here are mostly pro natural for everything. So, he never mentioned to us to try for artificial options such as IUI  (intrauterine insemination) or IVF (in vitro fertilization). You have to listen to birth stories here, very scary but they believed it's all for the good of the mother post-delivery.

So, there are three ways to assisted TTC:
i. Timing method - the method recommended to us.
ii. IUI
iii. IVF
All methods are covered by insurance (in Japan), but for IVF, only 10-20% of the cost will be covered (if you are eligible).

Timing method

So, we proceed with timing method. For about 7 months (before I quit), the doctor helped me monitor my ovulation, as he and us thought it was the timing that we got wrong all these time. So, by helping us deduce the ovulation time, it will increase our chance at conception. Some months, we missed the correct time, and some it was not successful for God knows why. Some months we knew we definitely missed it as I need to travel abroad without 'A'. Some months my period was just longer than usual and doctor had to prescribed me with hormone pills. So far, the pills didn't work on me. I think my body has this way of override it. Even if the doctor increased the dose, my period cycle was still not shortened. Besides helping me at stimulating ovulation (on cycle which I ovulated later than usual), I was given HCG shots during two weeks post-ovulation. That was meant to help with the implantation should the conception occurs. I was also made to chart my basal body temperature (bbt) every morning (which 'A' was more committed doing than yours truly).

After 7 months of dealing with the unfruitful 'timing method', I quit clinic and started looking into IVF. I was considering the extreme measures because this one time suddenly I'm surrounded by successful IVF stories among friends. Although it cost a lot, but the rate of success at my age is higher than it's gonna be later. despite of our failure in 'timing method', I was still calm. Maybe this calmness was influenced by 'A' who is always calm anyway.

To finally got pregnant

However, in the midst of researching about IVF in Japan, I found myself pregnant. At the time when we least focus on trying to conceive, this miracle took place effortlessly in my body. We are extremely shocked but eternally grateful for Allah s.w.t finally answers our prayer :)

So in my opinion, if you and your spouse are proven to be medically healthy, all you need is patience, positivity and lots and lots of lots of du'a. I have so many people to thank, especially our mothers who never failed to make du'a for us. It is also important to surround yourself with positive people and remember to always put your trust in Him for He who knows what's best for you. Trust me, after everything that happened to us in the last 5 years and now, everything falls just on their right places :)

Baby dust to all ttc couples out there!

Friday, October 16, 2015

The early signs

Here's my early signs of pregnancy. You and me, we might have experienced different symptoms.

i. Tender breast.
Unfortunately, this is also the sign that I'm about to get  my period. But, if at day 18 of post-ovulation you still experience tender breast or the tenderness is more than you used to have, you might be pregnant. I read, change of areola's color also indicate pregnancy. But, I didn't experienced that, hence tender breast alone is not helping for me.

ii. Cramps.
I usually have cramps when the period due is approaching. But, the period cramp feels different, it feels like something is making its way down. The cramp I felt in early pregnancy is more like in situ (locally), the pain that moves horizontally. It's not something about to leave your womb. It's very hard to explain, but it's different. 
I felt it was different, but I didn't think that was the early sign of pregnancy that my baby is trying to attach his/herself on my womb. Oh I think the pregnancy cramp is a little bit more intense than the period cramp. When I got the cramps, I had to stop doing whatever I was doing at that time and deal with the cramp. 

iii. Lethargic.
I thought the lethargic has became me. Apparently it's just my body adjusting. haha. The tiredness is so annoying until you found out that it's the pregnancy.

iv. Implantation bleeding.
Among many early signs of pregnancy I keep track as one of those who is ttc (trying to conceive), implantation is one that I disregard. Because only a small percentage of woman get this. And from my experience, I am not that lucky to be given an easy clue like that. lol xp.
And yes, I got the implantation bleeding which I mistook for period stain. lol xp. It was different from period stain btw, it is darker and very slight that if you wear a black or dark-colored panty you might not be able to see it. haha. Yes, always wear panty liner girls.

Thursday, October 15, 2015

A dream I had

At the end of last year, I came back to KL alone, while 'A' came to see me a few days afterwards.
That time, I took the opportunity to catch up with friends, family members that I haven't seen for a long time. Texting is not the same with sitting down, talking with each other, guys. I'm still value presence better than phone communication.

Anyway, I was so depressed that time, just because of bad traffic. I haven't had stuck in traffic jams for a very long time, that is, since I live in Japan. So, maybe the pressure that I felt when stuck in traffic jam means nothing to you. I tried to use Waze and google map, but to no avail because unfortunately the roads that I got lost in have changed and it wasn't updated in both applications. After I think 20x making rounds and rounds, I stop my car at the emergency lane and burst to tears. I can't believe I cried for the smallest thing, when I hardly cries for anything. So basically, all the days that I had to drive around by myself, my face will be so scary even I myself refused to stare in the mirror. haha.

On this one Sunday, I promised my very best friend a breakfast date. I think she was worried about me because I called her when I was in the middle of nowhere crying because KL traffic is suck. So, she was probably thinking that I might cancel the plan. But, I went ahead anyway because I figure maybe this much awaited breakfast date would change my mood.

I arrived at her house at 8am. When in Malaysia, I love mornings. So, breakfast date is always something I prefer for a girlfriends meeting. We hugged and she asked me whether I was okay. Of course my tear is about to burst when she asked that. Not because of the traffic, but because someone is actually care even the things that bothers me is..traffic jam. 

Anyway, we had a nice moment over breakfast. The food was so-so. But, it's the moment that I cherish. With her, I managed to talk my heart out. Telling things that I can't share with family members or people other than myself. It's good we have someone we can trust, someone that's willing to spare her time just to listen to your problem. Alhamdulillah that I have her for that. 

Unfortunately, we also shared the same life struggle. A struggle that we can't do much about it except making a lot du'a and have a lot of patience. This one problem, maybe only those who is having it can understands it. Lucky for us, we already are best friends for years, and have each other to go through this. 

On the way home from our breakfast date, I told her, "I wish that we can get pregnant around the same time. If that happened, I'd be the happiest person on earth!" "Can you imagine....bla bla..."
She just smiled the brightest like she always has and we nod to each other thinking the odd that could happen.

And just a few days ago (I was at 14weeks), she contacted me and told me that she is also expecting! and the best part is our estimated delivery date (EDD) will be in the same month!

It's not always the thing I randomly said came through. This event just proved to me, what you said could be du'a. In this case, I really really grateful to HIM that HE listened and granted us the miracles that we have been waiting for. 

I wish us all the best in raising our little miracle!

Wednesday, October 14, 2015

My biggest, most expensive anniversary present ever.

It was the morning of our 5th anniversary. My period was supposed to due two days ago. But, I figured, maybe because I was a little bit stress with workloads that my period came a little bit later. I thought maybe I'll get it by today or tomorrow. But then I thought I had this brown stain two days ago. It was day 12 of my post-ovulation day (I tracked my ovulation day). Having period on day 12 is normal by the way. My period has always started off with brown stain. Sort of give me a head start of what's coming tomorrow, which I love about myself. So, I have the time to check whether do I have enough pads, etc. But, after 24 hours, there was no following stain or cramps whatsoever. I was feeling 50-50 between worried and hopeful. Would it be implantation bleeding or it's just my period got stuck in there. lol xp. I am 30, so, I know not to put my hope too high. I don't like to deal with frustrations.

So, on the day of our 5th anniversary, 2 days has passed since the first appearance of the brown stain. That morning when I wake up, we wished each other happy anniversary and I'm off to the toilet. My heart says to pee on the stick as it will be my first pee of the day. I had the stick for so long I couldn't remember. I swear to myself only to use it when something has become unusual. But, part of me said what happened to me was not something unusual. Period would come on day 14-18 after ovulation. So, I was just at day 16. However the thought that I haven't bought anything for 'A' yet, decides everything. haha. So, I peed on the stick and the two lines appeared almost instantly. I quickly check the expiration date of the UPT stick. It's still good in fact it has almost a year more until it expired. So, my gut feeling was correct after all, but I keep wanting not to believe it.

I bring the stick to my husband who is still on the bed. It was weekend. I asked him for my present and he showed me my car he bought a few months ago. Lol xp. Fine, fair enough. That was his present to me, that's huge, I know. And he looked at my small box with nil excitement, ready to belittle my effort every single time -_-" When he saw the content, I expect him to jump of extreme happiness but he just sat there and stare at the content (stick). He asked me, 

"How to read this thing?" 
"are you sure two lines means positive?" forgetting the fact that his wife is a scientist.
"Are you sure the line is supposed to be red?"
"this stick got peed? ewww!!!" -the peed part was well capped.


aaaaa....what a spoiler. I forgot his knowledge in biology is at level darjah 3 -_-" sigh..

So I patiently took time to explain to him how the stick works. He was skeptical and google about it then only he smiled the brightest I have ever seen ever since the solemnization. hahahaha xp. But, that was only maybe after 3 hours of internet research about upt. He came to the kitchen while I was preparing his breakfast with the huge grin on his face when us, the entire house has over with it. geez... 

For the first time ever, I win "the best anniversary present giver" in 5 years of marriage and countless of years of courtship. hehe.. 

I never felt so alive, I put his present to shame!

Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Why must tell colleagues that you are expecting?

My plan was to let my growing belly self-told the others that I'm pregnant.
But, one day, when I was out with my sister in law (that time I was just a month pregnant), she asked me whether I have told my colleagues about my pregnancy.
And I told her of course not, if I tell, maybe the earliest when I'm at month no. 3. 
Then, she advised me that it is okay not to tell distance relatives or friends first if I don't want to, but to colleagues, it's better if I announce it as soon as possible.


i. Because if any emergency happened, I would have the privilege to be saved first.
That reminds me, oh yeah, I live in Japan, the very place on earth where all kinds of natural disaster happened (nauzubillah minzalik).
ii. Besides that, pregnancy means my health will be very fragile, I will tend to take emergency leave more often, so by letting them get the head first, will save me and them as well.
iii. Also, telling them sooner, will give them more time to plan for replacement for the time I'm on my maternity leave.

How wise is my SIL. 

So, on the first day back to work, I straight away tell my boss and people around me whom I think would care. Now, my belly is growing like nobody's business while my dream is to have a pregnancy belly like Ivanka Trump. lol xp. I know it won't happen as I am so petite, anything bulging would be easily noticeable.

So, how about you guys? How early did you tell your colleagues that you are expecting?

Monday, October 12, 2015

My new bag's accessory.

This tag says "onaka ni akachan ga imasu" which means "there's a baby inside her belly" :)

Finally it's my time to have this as my bag accessory :)

Syukur alhamdulillah..

To those who happened to come across my blog, please make du'a for me and the miracle inside me. 
May Allah bless all of you.

Will blog more about my journey later on:)

Saturday, October 10, 2015

HongKong- The symphony of lights

Heard about this so many times and wondering why it topped the chart of HK attractions.
We lived nearby the Tsim Sha Tsui area where the Avenue of Stars is located. Avenue of stars is like the Hollywood walk of fame, where you can find names of famous HK actors are engraved along the walkaway. It is interesting for me as I grew up watching a lot of HK movies rented by my brother. Especially those movies with Stephen Chow and Jackie Chan. 

The symphony of lights is a free attraction for all. It takes place along the Avenue of Stars and basically what you have to do is go there before 8pm, get a nice spot for you and your camera and wait. From the Avenue of Stars, you can see rows modern design building lining up along the shore. All these buildings will give out their colorful lights, it's so bright and beautiful. Then, at 8pm, the music will be played with announcer at the back. The moving lights was only the green laser that dances with the music. So, basically, you don't need to fight for the best seat if it happened that your view is blocked during the peak time, because it was nothing much. You can get the same exact view after the performance finished and you can snap away however you like. But, worry not, I don't think it will be that difficult to find space. Since the performance happened every night (I'm not sure if it depends on the weather), if you didn't manage to witness on day one, you can always come again the next day :)

Overall, it was really breathtakingly beautiful, for a modern day view.

The symphony of lights from our eyes. Can you see the green lasers? That's the dancing lights. 

Friday, October 9, 2015

Obsessing over Buttercup!

This is one thing you must know about me. I am a cat lady! I am so crazy over cat, you have no idea. Like when all the girls are putting the poster of boybands, I'd put the poster of cats. And I think my craze over cat is getting worsen by age. 
I can't remember the stage of my life, I wasn't surrounded by cat. Now, yes. since I got married, I never have cats by my side like I used to when I grow up. It's cause, apparently, 'A' is medically allergic to cat. Irony is it??
So, thank you instagram, every night I will stalk cats photos while 'A' next to me stalked pictures of cars. That's the closest thing that can give me some sort of relieved like petting a cat had given me all my life. It's very hard to put in words, but petting a cat and playing with them has a very strong therapeutic effect on me. I didn't realized that before of course until, I lose the chance to live with them anymore.

Among many cats I stalk, my absolute favorite at the moment is Buttercup!

Meet Buttercup :') Awww....whenever I don't have a good feeling, I will stalk Buttercup. Looking at her photo warms my heart :)

I just want to buried my face on her chest. I mean, if I can find the chest.

If one day, there are permanent cure for cat allergy, I would want my own Buttercup!

Thursday, October 8, 2015

HongKong: Halal Food

I love Chinese food, especially the dimsums and dumplings family. 
We have gyoza (Japanese dumplings) here in Japan, but so far, all are not halal as pork is their main ingredients.
So, whenever I passed the gyoza section in here, I would just shoo the crave away, not!
Recently I keep making gyoza by my own. It will be much easier if I can find the halal gyoza skin, but I still failed to find one around here. But I heard, they are a lot of selections too and I need to keep looking.But, I am not a person who would just sit and wait. So, the right thing to do is..make gyoza from scratch! I'll share with you the recipe later on.

Now, I'll need to teach you where to find the real dumplings in Hong Kong and halal one of course.
From our almost non-existent itinerary, we have two days of city tour which is..more than enough. Hong Kong is really small. So, in those two days, we selected two halal chinese restaurants to try. They are quite a list of halal restaurants you can find when in google or just by walking in the city. They are plenty of Indian and Middle East restaurants alike. Unfortunately, 'A' and me are not the fan of those so much. I can't remember when was the last time we had naan in here. heh.

First stop is Ma's restaurant which is located near the Prince Edward station. In our record, it says that this restaurant was located at the Tsim Sha Tsui, very near to our hotel, hence the postpone. On the day we plan to finally do the food tour, we head there when we were already at the state of extreme hunger, thinking so that we can stuff our face with all the food. When we arrived in front of the building we were greeted with relocation notice -__-" But, we weren't all that worry because it is Hong Kong, in 15 minutes we'll get there. yey!

In front of Ma's restaurant. Very spacious and there were a lot of people when we were there. So many menus you can try, all chinese cuisine with Halal certificate hanged on the wall. But our heads were set for dumplings. We ordered all dumplings in the menu. We thought, "oh, we'll have dumplings as starter. You know, just dumplings, it's like a snack only." We were so wrong -_-" and the best part is, it's so cheap! 

Lamb dumplings.

Chicken steam dumplings.

Chicken soup dumplings.
The rest? We ate only these then we were very full -_-" ahaha..yea, we are not just the right people for food travel.

Now is time for the highlight of my entry. If you wanted the best dumplings ever ever ever and halal (of course) you must go to this place- Masjid Ammar and Osman Ramju Sadick Islamic Centre's canteen!

Actually this place was on the top of my list to go in HK. But, 'A' who is not a fan of doing things twice didn't agree at first for us to try another dumplings. Even after I kept showing him the CNN reports that says this place is a must go to try the best dumplings (for all, not just for muslims), he still feeling skeptical. Lucky for me, on the last day, we had some extra time, we travelled a little bit further from our hotel to go this place. 'A' chose Ma's restaurant for our dumplings experience as it was located in the middle of the city, it is near to the main attractions so that would allow us to go to many places in a day. But, on the last day, he followed my wish finally!

In front of the masjid. It was quite far away from the station. If you google, it is recommended to take a bus there. But, I think no need. It's just about 15 minutes walk which is good so you can immerse yourself among the locals and stop at their shops to buy souvenirs. hehe. Oh, and we didn't have the map to here. We just follow our gut until we saw a pair of middle eastern walked by. 'A' asked him for directions and alhamdulillah we were just nearby :) So, my advice is, bring map with you.heh.

Our first trip of dumplings. OMG..serious guys, the best dumplings ever. 'A' who was not interested at first, ordered a bunch for for take away. 

How to order. So cheap, huh. yey!! Oh, this canteen only serves dumplings alike. There are a lot more selections than Ma's restaurant. Even the Ma's owner recommended us to come here. lol xp.

So, if you have time, please try both places. Ma's restaurant is maybe more suitable for other kind of chinese cuisine like the rice, noodles and all, but for dumplings it is best for you to go the the Islamic Centre. I couldn't imagine what I'd missed shall I skip the visit to the Islamic Center -_-" 

If you like middle eastern's and Indian cuisine, you shall not worry. So plenty, you wouldn't believe you eyes. lol xp.

Sunday, October 4, 2015

Experience with Photobook

At about the time Groupon became famous, I was in Japan. I felt so curious and helpless at the same time. My friends kept posting about the deal they got from the groupon such as cheap services for spa, cheaper buffet, etc. I think you know better.

Then you know, the pressure felt by a woman. Some times, curiosity kills the cat. But in my case, curiosity won me a cheap photobook! hey!

You know it is very expensive to develop all the pictures we took? Especially now that in average we might have taken 3000 pictures (in the phone only -_-"). And it is dangerous also to keep all your memory in soft copy. Anything can happen kan.

So, I figured I want to try the photobook. My first try was three years ago. When I realized I have failed 'A' for the 100th times to buy him a present that he likes. So, I think I want to be the creative girlfriend. heh. And..i failed miserably. It was my first time trying the photobook, so I have no idea of the yield. It's a pure experiment and yeah...he got the experiment version -_-"

Since berjinak dengan photobook, every time I get back to KL, I will try to make one. There are so many more I plan to do.

The inside. So, with photobook, we can arrange photos as many as we can fit in different sizes. If we were to develop this photo one by one, it will be pricey especially those of bigger sizes. 40 pages is more than enough I think.

Another example. The quality of the printing also not that bad.

Because of a good deal, I also bought the deal for canvas photo (8"x8"). I just want to see the outcome. Turned out, it is not bad. I would love to try the bigger size when I back for good later. Japan's house no place to put -_-"
So, try this photobook guys. The yield is good, and it's thin, so you can make as many as possible without the needs of big space to keep it later on. Happy trying!

Saturday, October 3, 2015

Better October

A few day has passed since Hamada san turned 30 (or 31 I forgot). So, as I walked together with her, I asked her, "what do you get for your birthday? "
She said, for Japanese, when you enter 30 (or 31-again I don't remember), one of your family member must buy you a piece of jewellery to sort of push the bad luck away. They believed that when you turn 30 (or 31), your luck will be at the lowest and if you are not being careful, everything in your life will fall down the pit. 

Of course I do not believe that although my days of turning 30 was such a tragic (read here). But I am so very grateful despite of the small misfortunes that have befell me. I heard so many more life changing stories that happened to people around me, not necessarily because they are turning 30.
So, last October my Japanese friend understood my condition based on what they believed. But, I don't la. It is haram to think of our misfortunes that way. As a muslim, I accepted that as a test and I was so grateful it was not something very serious, but enough to remind me of death. Alhamdulillah Allah s.w.t still grants me hidayah although I am not one pious servant. 

Anyway, it's October again. And it has been so wonderful, alhamdulillah. I am so amazed that my life has changed the way I wanted it for so long ago. Alhamdulillah..It's true that He will grant our wish at the right time. For those who are still waiting for your du'a to be answered, do not lose hope, do not stop making du'a. 

There are so many people I cherish was born in this month. It started off with my mother in law. My marriage to 'A' does not just granted me with a wonderful life companion, but another wonderful mother that I am lucky enough to have a fair share of her love. 

Happy birthday Ummi!
Semoga dipanjangkan umur, dimurahkan rezeki, dikurniakan kesihatan yang berpanjangan. 

Friday, October 2, 2015

HongKong: Must Go Disneyland

I'm past 30 and I have lost hope towards Disneyland. Whenever I go, the possibility to experience more than 5 rides is like mission impossible T_T. So, we were 50-50 about going to the Disneyland, or is it just me? Because the first thing 'A' bought when landed at the Hong Kong airport was Disneyland ticket. We didn't even have Hong Kong money with us that time but he was so determined that he withdrew some from the ATM using credit card..just for the Disneyland -_-"

Oh, before I forgot to tell you, if you plan to go to the Disneyland, it is advisable to buy it from the travel agent at the airport as you will get cheaper price and un-fixed date. So, you can go on whichever date convenient which the weather allowed.

I was so glad that I got my health back on the second day we were in Hong Kong. Syukur tak terkata.
So, the night before we decided to go for Disneyland the next morning! The good thing about Hong Kong is that the country is small, so traveling to one point to another does not take hours even the Disneyland is located at different island. 

As far as I remember, for Disneyland Tokyo, we had to come very early in the morning at least 7.30 in the line for tickets. Then the park is opened at 8-8.30am. It was that early. But, for Hong Kong, it opens at 10.30am. We were a little surprised looking at the opening hour. So, in the morning, I managed to cook nasi lemak for breakfast and only left the hotel at 9. It was such a relaxing Disneyland trip ever! 

The trip to the Disneyland was very easy and relaxing given that at that time people has already in their office. Another surprised for us was when we took the Disneyland train and there was very few number of people were on board with us. We can practically lie down on the seats like a boss! We arrived at the Disneyland at around 10am. The train station and the entrance was just about 10m from each other unlike in Tokyo where you need to walk about 15-20minutes to get to the entrance from the train exit. Anyway, since we arrived very early and we already had the tickets, we took time to pose for some pictures and take a look around.

Inside the Disneyland train. few people. That made us so curious..what's up with the Disneyland -_-"

This is the first ride you'll see when you enter the HK Disneyland. If you are a Disneyland frequent, your jaw will literally dropped onto the floor, too shock for seeing a scene like this. Only two people are queueing for the Space Mountain -_-" aaaa... so, 'A' went straight in and after 10 minutes finished one ride. I was like 'apa's still early!' -_-" Actually 'A' was rushing here to get his fast pass. But, as we look around, I don't think the fast pass machine is even exist in here -_-"

I think this is the most dangerous ride in HK Disneyland. Of course only like 5 people were queueing and therefore 'A' had this for a few times while I snacked at one of their empty cafe. Oh, and he rode it until I managed to get a perfect shot of him riding in this -_-" If in Tokyo, I don't think he can even dream of getting the fast pass.

It's very hard to miss the parade. The compound is kind of smaller than Tokyo's. So, even you are not following the schedule, it is so unlikely for you to miss it, unless on purpose. And anyway, at other Disneyland before, we could only mostly enjoy the parade as it took at least an hour to get on one ride. So, we weren't so into the parades. 

While we were walking around the cinderella castle which is quite disappointing for me (they didn't do it as nice as Tokyo's. It looks like murals put together. They can't fool me.), a lady stopped us and hand us a pass. we were like 'what pass is this?'. We kept it anyway and use it if it happens we walked by the castle again at the designated time. Turned out, we did walked by and we saw..tada!! Elsa and Anna. haha.. You can greet them if only you have the pass. I had it and among the first to arrive. yey!

We have tonnes of photos at the Disneyland. But this one meant a lot. It's been a long time since we curious about Winnie the pooh ride. Whenever we were in Disneyland before, the waiting time would be 2 hours most of the time. Aaaa...we were not that crazy to wait for that long. But in HK, no waiting time. We enter and straight ahead ride. OMG!!it was so entertaining. It was for suitable for children but we felt the satisfaction as the mystery was solved!
Halal food

You guys, this is a very good news for us muslim! In Disneyland HK, they served quite a variety of halal food. OMG!! We don't know what to order although the food are asian cuisine. lol xp.  But, since I always love hainanese chicken rice, I chose this! It was 5 star! Sedap sangat!!

Vietnamese rice noodle for 'A'. You know why he chose this? Coz he said he could foresee that I'd love this more than the chicken rice. I just ignored him and had my eyes on the chicken rice all the time until....he convinced me to try a spoon of the soup. After that, I was in charged of the noodle until the last drop. lol xp. Isn't it annoying that our husbands are always right..about us?? geez... 
After our hearty meal, we continue to walk and stop at every ride. Every ride I tell you because no need to queue. Also, the nicest thing about HK Disneyland is the ride is bilingual; english and chinese. So, I enjoyed it very much. Also, I really felt like the Disneyland was book for my private visit. For roller coaster-like ride, 'A' would test first and later reported to me whether it is 'wani-fit'. You see how empty it was -_-". So, if he feels okay for me to ride, he will ride together with me again. So Kardashian kan I ols?

Besides rides, there are scheduled show too. This time we went to the most show there are. Seriously, we didn't waste a minute. Anything that came on our way, we went for it! My favorite show of all was the Mickey Mouse show:) and ride that was not really a ride is the talk with Stitch. So funny that alien. I wish he picked on of us because most of the people he chose could not understand english. We sat at the most front and I only hear us laughing. lol xp. We didn't take so much photos as the scenery was not very nice. But it's okay cause we didn't have time anyway trying one ride to another.

Praying room

Oh, I took chances by asking the customer service if they have praying room. They don't have it, but they let us use VIP room. teehee..So, do not afraid to ask.

I couldn't believe such a Disneyland exist. And we saw a coming soon section, there'll be Stark Expo opening in 2016. The more reason to come back! If I ever crave for Disneyland, I would have no doubt but to go for HK! Worth all the penny!

Thursday, October 1, 2015

HongKong: The Peak

There are so many attractions in HK that actually 5 nights are enough. But, we are not that ambitious la. We just chill and do whatever in the day. No planning ahead. We just enjoy walking around and see whatever that comes in our way. 

Victoria's peak (The Peak)

You know that Hong Kong was once colonized by British? So, you will see that name of roads are so english. And that's probably why many of them can speak english unlike when I was in Taiwan, the likelihood to find one that can understand us was like 1/20 people. But still not bad. 
So, in the afternoon of our first day after a horrible morning (tell you the story later), we found ourselves with nothing to do. So, after I took my medication and alhamdulillah I was instantly cured after a few hours rest in the comfort of The Best Western, we decided to visit the Victoria's peak. We had no idea what was that. We just thought let's go! It was around 4pm when we reach the nearest train station to the peak. For the trip up to the peak, we decided to take the bus. The was so scary but worth it. The feeling was like when you successfully rode on the crazy roller coaster without peed yourself up there. Exactly like that. 

We took the bus from the Ferry Piers in the Central. The journey took about 40 minutes, but the nice part was we can see the views of Hong Kong from the ground and going up to the hilly side of Hong Kong where the rich lives. Hehe.. And I tell you the way up was so steep it and windy. Really windy, like all the junctions were very sharp and the roads up are narrow >,< The fact that we sat at the top level of the bus (the bus was a two-storey), just made it more chilling. But the kind of a good chill. 

The two-storey bus. The bus was on schedule.

To finally arrived at The Peak after many time of uhhh...ohhh by us the passengers. Not the type of good uhhh...ohh.. >,<

View on the way up. We can see a lot of elite condos.

We have arrived! Even at the top of the mountain like this ada shopping mall. Not just ordinary stuff, there's even boutique like Furla, Coach, etc.  Behind me, that's the observatory. You need to buy tickets to enter the observatory. But, it wasn't expensive and worth a visit.

We arrived at almost dawn and the view is like this. It was quite hazy in Hong Kong during our visit. 

View from the other side of the observatory. Greenier side of Hong Kong.

While we hang out on the observatory with my coffee experiment, suddenly there was a huge crowd starting to come. Then only we got it! The best view is at night. Luckily we didn't left our spot. As soon as the night crawled in, this view came to life. It was so pretty! Photos couldn't do any justice. It's like everyone is clicking for hundreds of times but still we couldn't feel satisfied.

As we turned our head, omg the crowd. tsk...we were lucky because we arrived at dawn :)

Leaving the Peak, we chose to ride the tram. There were so many people left around the same time with us, so the queue was crazy. However, it was very efficient, we didn't feel it was troublesome. The journey with the tram took about maybe 20-30 minutes. For this one, we felt like being thrown down the hill. The tram descended at 45 degree and you will see the building around appeared slanted. We tried to take photos but to no avail. Despite of that, it was less scary because it's like we know the tram will stick to the track, unlike the bus >,<

Finally arrived at the tram station :) It's time to haunt for dinner!


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