Better October

A few day has passed since Hamada san turned 30 (or 31 I forgot). So, as I walked together with her, I asked her, "what do you get for your birthday? "

She said, for Japanese, when you enter 30 (or 31-again I don't remember), one of your family member must buy you a piece of jewellery to sort of push the bad luck away. They believed that when you turn 30 (or 31), your luck will be at the lowest and if you are not being careful, everything in your life will fall down the pit. 

Of course I do not believe that although my days of turning 30 was such a tragic (read here). But I am so very grateful despite of the small misfortunes that have befell me. I heard so many more life changing stories that happened to people around me, not necessarily because they are turning 30.

So, last October my Japanese friend understood my condition based on what they believed. But, I don't la. It is haram to think of our misfortunes that way. As a muslim, I accepted that as a test and I was so grateful it was not something very serious, but enough to remind me of death. Alhamdulillah Allah s.w.t still grants me hidayah although I am not one pious servant. 

Anyway, it's October again. And it has been so wonderful, alhamdulillah. I am so amazed that my life has changed the way I wanted it for so long ago. Alhamdulillah..It's true that He will grant our wish at the right time. For those who are still waiting for your du'a to be answered, do not lose hope, do not stop making du'a. 

There are so many people I cherish was born in this month. It started off with my mother in law. My marriage to 'A' does not just granted me with a wonderful life companion, but another wonderful mother that I am lucky enough to have a fair share of her love. 

Happy birthday Ummi!
Semoga dipanjangkan umur, dimurahkan rezeki, dikurniakan kesihatan yang berpanjangan. 

Why pen down?

Last June, just a few days before Ramadan arrives, I took a flight back to KL, alone.

It was work-related so 'A' was left behind for a while. Hehe.. 

So far, I've been taking only either MAS or AirAsia for traveling back to KL. I'd rather take the earliest shinkansen than taking the flight from nearby airport but have change 2-3 flights to reach KL. 

Anyway, every time I need to fly alone, I'd always choose MAS. It's good also as I'll be so lonely, boring and everything else given that I can't doze off easily during the day. Sigh..So, I am the person on the plane who will keep looking at her watch and wonder has the time stopped? I can't imagine flying for hours alone. OMG. So, in conclusion, I hate flying.

Anyway, fortunately though MAS has entertainment pack. I was praying that the movies would be new or something I never seen. Thank god they have many. sigh...I even watched the Italian movie, ok. That's how bored I was. The Italian movie was very funny I was laughing hysterically like a mad woman while everybody was busy sleeping or trying to sleep. I didn't do that cause I know it won't work.

After had too much laugh from the movie and dramas (I watched Modern Family and the Big Bang theory), I was attracted to 'Still Alice'. Earlier this year Julian Moore won an oscar for her portrayal of Alice. Hmm..I have always so lazy to watch movies that are shortlisted in the oscar. I mean, not in the plane where I need to kill my boredom. I need something that's entertaining. But I went ahead with it anyway. 

And I tell you, this movie has made me cry like another crazy woman. Sigh..

The saddest part of the movie is during her speech at the Alzheimer's convention. It was so heartbreaking especially when my imagination went wild imagining I was sitting at her place. We basically have the same career. As an educator. I can't imagine suffering something like that.

The movie is about Alice, a professor who suffers an early onset of Alzheimers. It is hereditary, and it is even more heartbreaking for Alice to discover that her children will be affected as well. I imagined that I as the sufferer could not understand the suffer of people around me who have to deal with my condition especially our loving husband. I just can't. At one point when Alice wanted to take her like, I was secretly rooting that she succeeded. But she was too forgetful to do that T__T Ah..so many things that would make your tears bag ripped.

Before, I would just go.."oh, her/his grandma has Alzheimer..." That's all, disregarding that it is a disease and the sufferer does not have the chance to fight it, as they can't even remember a thing, how do you want to fight it without any intentions to? They can't grief, they can't fight, they basically lost their whole life. 

Watching this movie made me realize, the most precious thing in our life is..the memories we have created. So guys, don't we ever waste it. Think again, all we have left is our memories. Create any good ones whenever we are at it. And try to pen it down as much as we can.

Here's the speech in 'Still Alice' that has given me a wake up call (I typed the text manually while listening to it. So, apologize if I got any words wrong):

"good morning

its an honor to be here

The poet Elizabeth Bishop once wrote the art of losing isn’t hard to master.

so many things seem filled with the intent to be lost that their lost is no disaster.

I am not a poet.

I am a person living with early onset Alzheimers and as that person I find myself learning the art of losing everyday.

Losing my bearings, losing objects, losing sleeps but mostly losing memories.

All my life, I’ve accumulated memories.

They’ve become in a way my precious possessions.

The night I met my husband, 

the first time I held my text book in my hands,

having children, making friends, traveling the world.

Everything I accumulated in life, everything I work so hard for, now all that is being ripped away.

As you can imagine, or as you know, this is hell.

But it gets worse.

Who can take us seriously when we were so far than we once were?

Our strange behavior and fumbled sentences change others perception of us and our perception of ourselves.

We become ridiculous, incapable, comic, but this is not who we are. This is our disease and like any disease, it has a cause, it has a progression and it could have a cure.

My greatest wish is that my children, our children, the next generation do not have to face what I am facing.

But for the time being, I’m still alive. I know I’m alive.

I have people I love dearly. I have things I wanna do with my life.

I reel against myself for not being able to remember things

But I still have moments in a day of pure happiness and joy.

And please do not think that I am suffering. 

I am not suffering. I am struggling.

Struggling to be apart of things, to stay connected to who I once was.

So, live in a moment I tell myself. It’s all I can do; live in a moment and not beat myself up too much for mastering the art of losing.

One thing I’d try to hold on to though is the memory of speaking here today.

It’d go, I know it will. It maybe gone by tomorrow. But it means so much to be talking here today, like my old ambitious self who was so fascinated by communication.

Thank you for this opportunity, it means the world to me.

Thank you."

So people, I recommend you cherish your memory by probably start a blog. hehe...or download evernote :D

Till then, toodles!

Source

Just get going

My problem from azali would be...laziness.

I'm so lazy, u have no idea guys. But as I grow older, I started to be really aware of my laziness. I don't allow myself to be lazy at all. Then, if I manage to combat the feeling for a long long time, I will grant myself one day to be all lazy. hahahaha xp. On that special day, I will do whatever I'd like to do without worrying a single thing. There was one time, I decided I want to stay on the couch watching Running Man all day. I really did.

Problem with lazy, although you may not be troublesome for other people, but, it will take toll on you in so many ways. One would be your health, which we always take it for granted. Second is, your motivation. Teenager may not understand what I was saying. But I think people my age which knows ourselves better than years ago, would understand how easy we lost it. The motivation. When we lose it, it will be hard to regain, except with a lot of determination. In my mind I always imagine dragging myself out of the house and do something for the day. 

For example, I don't know if this is happening to you guys, but I always feels so lazy and unmotivated to get back to work after a long holiday. Even after 1 extra weekend. My mind and body likes it at home, cook for my husband and just do my hobbies (which I haven't had time to do at this age, of course). I don't know if this is really true, but I met many people said that 'I might have a lot of hobbies because I'm a Scorpio'. hahahaha xp Is it? This mix feeling of lazy and demotivated has become worse now that I live with him! It isn't just about the long break anymore, I feel like this dragging feeling happens every morning now. 

So, I'm making it my 2015 resolution, to fight this lazy demon in me which seems to grow as my love grows for my husband every day. They are like parasite in me. 

I now know how to rectify this situation. I tried many ways to get myself together before people around here started to hate me and my laziness. You want to know how?

Just get going. Push yourself to go out and do something for the society. Make yourself feels good, then only you can enjoy what you love with free mind, without questioning what have you done to deserve it. So far, it works. 

Why I love Japan-cleanliness

 Cleanliness

Why I write this entry

I think that is too easy to guess. I don't know why it is hard to maintain a clean toilet in Malaysia. I have experienced a situation where toilet in a newly built building, got so dirty just in weeks. Another example that I think most people can relate is ones in KLIA2. My first experience in KLIA2 was just about a few months ago. That time KLIA2 just started to operate. My flight was late at night and if I have to board AA, I will always always use the toilet on land. I can't explain how relieved I was when we landed in Japan because  it will be just time for...you know. But, not all the time that plan is successful. Anyway, the toilet at KLIA that time probably around 2am, recalling it is enough to make me nauseous. As I opened the first cubicle, there are urine so visible on the toilet seat. The person who responsible must have come from a country who doesn't have toilet. And the next one, no flushing, and the next one blood stains (you are so optimist if you think that somebody got cut) on the toilet seat, so visible that I got a headache right after. Only at the 5th cubicle I can finally use and that was a squat one. Still, I wasn't entirely comfortable with the experience. 

Problem 1: Ethics

In my opinion, one of the factor is the user. In this case, us, the citizens. If we are more appreciative, less selfish, and responsible, I think the government wouldn't need to spend much in maintenance. However, this theory is not necessarily true at some place that I've seen to have very good maintenance, not just toilet but the cleanliness of the entire compound. 

For example, at the Rest and Relax area (RnR). When I was in Malaysia, the idea of road trip will make me think many many times before I can say ok. In the matter of nature calls, I'm pretty much like Sheldon Cooper. So, I'll try my best to make sure at that time I wasn't at some random places with creepy toilets. But in here, my perspective for road trips has change. In fact, I love love traveling around here. One, is the view, and another is their RnR. It was too dreamy, you don't think such toilet even exist!

Some says that Malaysia's toilet's prone to get dirty that fast is to the fact that we use water for that business. Well, if that's so, ours should be more clean. How do you explain all the urine and blood and not flushing, then? Because you have a lot of water? Toilets in Japan are now equipped with bidet (or other types of bidet for different businesses). The way to use this facility is trickier than having a proper tap in the toilet. That can make a bigger mess if you mishandled it. 

Problem 2: Poor facility

I know, sometimes it's not the people. Have you been to situation when you found the flush isn't working after you finished your business? Worst, when the tap does not dispense water? And most of the time, public toilet in Malaysia doesn't provide toilet roll (note: the number of places does so is growing, I noticed). I have! But so far not that unfortunate that both weren't working at the same time. If that happened, I don't know what to do. I've never really though about that.

Writing this entry made me reminisce the time when I was in boarding school. Our hostel has three floors and there are plenty of toilet and showers at every floors. So, what was the problem? There were no water supply! Only one or two sink can dispense water (although the flow will make you go crazy) and so did the shower. Only two or three that was usable. The toilets? I don't remember if they ever work. I think they were only one or two toilets that worked for the second nature calls (that is, the cubicle has tap and the flush is working). It was located at the ground floor and I remember I keep wishing for the toilet to not give up on us. Showering was not a problem since we have a sunway (a huge water pool). So most of us resort to this place when it comes to worse. 

Sometimes, I encounter human's waste product at you know where, and that time we know that it is because there are no water supply. I think the water are there, but the pump or something wasn't working. I really hope our education ministry can look into this matter and amend this very simple problem. But, it's been ages since I've been into any hostel. Probably the condition now is much better. If that's so, alhamdulillah..good for our young generations. 

Current views

How about malls?

In the late 90's I think the condition of toilet in the malls was like...still disgusting. Starting in the 2000's I think the condition has improved so well. I now can stay outside longer than usual and not to worry to pee or you-know at these places. I like to go especially to places where I familiar and I know they have a great toilet. I am from Petaling Jaya so, I'm a frequent to MidValley and The Gardens (such a big fan), OneUtama, Ikea, The Curve and Sunway Pyramid. All of them, alhamdulillah has the nicest toilet. I still not liking the idea of jalan-jalan di bandaraya Kuala Lumpur, like the Sogo area. If I need to go there, it would just be for maximum 2 hours just cause..I still couldn't find a nice toilet around that area. Oh well, it wasn't my favorite place to be either.

My mom remembers me with many characters. One of it, is a child who hold her pee or whatever waste until I reach home. My mom told me, as I arrived at the door, I will always run towards the toilet. haha xp. So, I guess Japan is the right place for me, to stay for a very long time. Sadly, this water supply tak sampai condition did not stop at the school or hostel. I still had to hold my pee and others until I reach home, even at the university. Believe it or not, that time only one toilet for the whole huge department. And later I moved to another department, they have a nice toilet...with no water (most of the time). So, expect 'the expected' when you check out the cubicles. Uwekkk!!

I intended to write numbers of whys. But, I was so pumped out writing just for one why; cleanliness. I think this is enough to tell you that. I'll see you in the next why:)

Take care!

Bad month

Yours truly is supposed to be adoring October since there are so many wonderful people who was born in this month. The closest to me is of course the love of my life and his beautiful mother. However, the year 2014 has brought some bad memories to me instead. It was so ridiculously unfortunate that you would have a hard time to believe my story. Here are the list of endless unfortunate events that have befallen on me since day 1 of October 2014.

1) On October 1st, 2014, I felt something off in my mouth. You know, the kind of annoying pain you feel when you have ulcers in your mouth. I told myself that it is the time of the year for me to deal with ulcer. I rarely get ulcers in the mouth, hence my low tolerance to the discomfort in renders. The next day, I realized that it wasn't ulcers, but it was pericoronitis; the type of infection you get when you have an erupting wisdom teeth. Yeah, our worst nightmare. I have been contemplating in extracting my other two wisdom tooth as the x-ray image did not show any problem for it to naturally grow as the space is or was enough. But, that was 3 years ago. They must have grown bigger and making way out of the gingiva. 

         It was also irony for me as I was just finished my task to teach the undergraduate students about pericoronitis. The next class they saw me with half swollen cheek. I could have just taught them with my real infection, then -___-"

2) After a few days with antibiotics, I could then eat properly. I'm back with cheerful mood as I always set myself into in the month of October. It was weekend again, and we went cycling around town, getting our brunch and shop a little. The kind of weekend I love. Then, on the way home, I was hit by a huge super bike while I was cycling in a straight bicycle lane. Now I know how it feels to get involved in a road accident. When my husband asked me what happened, I can't answer. I just could not remember how it happened. The chronology. I have no memory at all. All I remember was I managed to break, and thrown off. Luckily, I landed on a mozaic floor. I escaped the accident with no apparent injuries. When the motorcyclist approached me, I think I was giggling while trying to stable my shivering body. It was involuntary, I swear. Then my husband came. He saw the accident as he  cycled just in front of me. The motorcyclist and me said sorry to each other and left the scene peacefully. I tried to get onto my bicycle with shiver. 

     It was very hard to hit the paddle home, but I made it. Just because our home is just 2 minutes away. Soon after I reached home, I checked my body for any injuries, there are none. But a minute after that, I saw red, nasty bruises appear in many parts of my body. I thought, well, it's just bruises. Then I lied down thinking to hold my body together cause I still shiver. After 10 minutes, I tried to get up, I can't! My joint and muscles were all sore! I've never felt anything like this. Sitting down and getting up a few days after was difficult tasks. Fortunately for me, it was a long weekend for Japan. I spent it lying on the sofa, temporarily handicapped.

3) I went to work although my leg still sore. I was very happy to finally out of the house. I was so looking forward to the next weekend because it was my husband's birthday. I am excited to spend the Friday with shopping for the present and cake stuff. Alhamdulillah, when Friday came, I was healthy. I went to various places searching for the right gift. 

   I decided to make pulut kuning instead, for he will be turning 30. I came home early preparing the pulut tuning and everything. Hiding his present and pretend like I don't care. When the clock struck 12, I made him blow candles on top of a heart-shaped pulut kuning. I remember I was so hyper that night and I sleep high in happy hormone as he loves his birthday gift! (which is so rare cause I could never get him the right thing T_T). 

May Allah s.w.t grant this man with longevity, prosperity and happy family of his own. 

   The next morning, the day I have so many plans for him turning 3 series, I woke up with sore throat. The kind of sore which you know fever is coming. I felt so sad, but I fought the feeling and went through with the plan. When the day ends, the fever gets really nasty. 

October 18th, morning. My body already hinting that they are going to get a long holiday...

    I suffered fever, flu and cough for more than a week! Normally, Japanese doesn't like to be around sick people. I mean, sickness which are infectious. So, I didn't come to work for a week! sigh..So unproductive, I tell you.

4) The fever and flu gone first, but the cough is quite persistent. That might be due to the fact that I did not take meds for that. And, I don't know why Japan doesn't have the cough syrup like we used to have in Malaysia. Anyway, when I think this illness is no more infectious, I decided to finally come to work. I was so spirited the night before. My Japanese friend told me, "Don't worry Wani, after you have 3 consequent unfortunate events, the forth one would be in a very long time." 

I believe her until..the next morning I wake up with the most terrible hives in my life! Instead of cycling to work, I cycled to the private clinic before its opening time! It was so terrible I can feel it moves towards my face! It started from the bottom half of your body. That morning, it already infested the top of head, making me feels like wearing a very think scarf! I tried not to scratch the hives although it was so itchy like hell. When the doctor saw me, his jaw literally dropped and prescribed me with 2 weeks anti-histamine. Until today, we still don't know the factor.

Panjang tak?

Yea, that's how I endure the bad month of October.

I felt like myself again on my birthday, the last day of October.

From that day, everything seems to fall into its place again.

Alhamdulillah.

To 30 more years of life. InshaAllah.

How to handle braggers!

Do you know somebody who can brag about him/herself ALL THE TIME?

Like the above scene in the big bang theory when Howard has jut gotten back from the space, and everything he talks about was the space/the mission/or the fact that he is an astronaut!

I`m sure all of you has met at least one person like that. Even if when I said `it is hot in here` and... (s)he can brag about how wonderful and noble her/his job is. AHmaaazing! lol xp

Don`t feel annoyed, just...have fun and do experiment like the above!

I have done it several times and...trust me, not a single time I didn`t have a good laugh. Tapi dalam hati jela..hahaha.

A moment to share

When I was citing the list of `barang orang kirim`to hubby, he suddenly voiced out his concern (the same question he always asked anyway).

"Duit you yang kat A dah bayar ke belum? Yang B kirim yang lepas dah bayar ke belum?"

This is because he knows I am bad at asking my money back and I could be easily melt by the happy face of people who get their things from me. Mulalah I want to consider hadiah. But when I got married, I don`t have the privilege to sukahati aje bagi barang kat orang because I get money from him la and I see how he works hard. I feel bad if I used his money for other people. Even I feel bad using his money still up until now. 

It ruins my shopping mood immediately. I could either tell him the truth, or lie.

Like any other time, I chose the truth. I said.. "No they did not. I forgot to ask them any way" and not looking at him while answering.

He said "I dah agak dah.." and he listed all the things I buy for people when they were actually kirim at first. I feel bad. Really. But I don`t know how to open my mouth. That`s why I hate giving people loans :( Even to family members. When I feel that I am okay even without the money I lend to them, I started to let it go. Sebab tu la tak kaya-kaya -_-" 

Then hubby asked "If you keep forgetting, will you halalkan the money then?"

I feel the question was a trap. Hubby never encourage me to use money freely like that. For him, bersedekah ada tempatnya. I tried to show him how strong I was not to easily splurge money on people who can afford. And I said "Of course NO." Then i feel bad for them, I said, "Maybe.." Then, "I don`t know". I`m so screwed.

We were strolling that time, and suddenly he stopped and turned to me saying "Sayang..then how can they perform their hajj? You must think hard. If you want the money, you have to ask. Or be silent and halalkan" 

Once again, I was amazed by this man <3 div="">

I'm so sorry...

Yours truly is almost entering 3 series.

It is true that age is just a number. Betul..but, the number so reflecting of our biological system. 

It counts up and warn you. Basically, like a bomb gitu. As the age going higher, our body is getting older too.

So, it is very important to start care for your health as early as possible. Jangan sampai terlambat sangat.

For those yang still under 25, you may not understand what I babbles about. 

Anyway, along this 30 years (belum lagi, tapi senang nak taip 30..haha), I meet people. Some of them stays as friends, some are just hi and bye. I admit I regret for being so immature di zaman dulu that I don't entertain people nicely causing them to leave. But what they say, people that stays are matter. But still, I accept that I was too bad that people leave. Nevertheless, I accept that with open heart, and cherish the people that stays. And yes, they aren't many of them (who stays). Unfortunate?haha..

I don't know if this is applied only to woman? but I feel like instinct sometimes work so well.

I don't do judging people by its cover. Because I had so many times being judge blindly by my cover (yes, my cover so not nice la kot). So, I would not do that to other people. I tried to make them talk to me. Usually, after a few times, I will start seeing beneath them. Unfortunately, most of the times, I sees black. Immediately, alarm inside of me switch on and I will apply a big curtain to hide the true me from them. Only little time, I find comfort around people I sees. Alhamdulillah..When I find comfort, I will feel very comfortable to reveal the real Wani. 

I think this started since the death of my dad (Al-Fatihah for him). Since he passed away, I feel very painful inside of me, I started to feel scared to give love to other people. I also experienced it with cats! After the death of Lilo (my daugther.a cat), I close my heart to any cats! Coz I already know how losing them could leave a big, painful hole in your life. I don't know how long this will stay, but this happened without I even know it. It's true in psychology they say. Maybe some part of my brain had damaged. haha.. This is what happened when men trying to present in my life. I don't even look at them and do not want to get involve in complicatedness of dating world. Basically, I wasn't one yang tukar-tukar boyfriend la..for me it is a waste of my time. haha.. Now, I am so in love with my this one man and very scared about losing him. So far my love to him is the greatest I have ever given to a human being or Allah's creature for that matters. Yes, I see this world very colorful when I decided to open my heart for this man. Alhamdulillah..(yea..all the saying in the movies are apparently true :')).

Along my journey, they are so many ways we could lose people, or in fact gaining new friends. Like recently, I just lost another. I though at this age and at this stage of life and...this career for that matters, all these back stabbings, lies, has ended. I thought everybody would be mature, more professionals. Sadly, no. Seriously, no. I just discover how I was back stabbed by a person that I open my heart to. It was so sad. I still don't know what her intentions were. What benefits she'll get after all the fitnahs she spread about me. I don't feel anything. I feel numb. See..there are so many ways your heart can be shattered. In this case, it is not difficult to forget this kind of people. To forget what she has done, would take times though. But I forgave her already. I hope she'll find peace too. 

However, I don't just blame other people for what has happened that we are now history for each other. To those I have hurt intentionally or unintentionally, from the most bottom of my heart, I beg for your forgiveness. 

I'm so sorry.

Sheldonized me

Since we are an LDM couple..

*I feel sick everytime I have to mention this to people. Kesimpulannye..we have never been a normal couple. Our no. 1 enemy for the whole decade together was and is ..the distance*

Anyway, back to the topic,

since we are an LDM couple, we really value our quality time together. Until today, we are probably one of the most annoying couple for people around us. haha.

Yea..like those newly married kind of annoying :p 

To add to our miserableness, we both are currently working/studying in Japan. One of the country with very few numbers of public holiday. I think it is because of their fondness to their jobs, making them okay with their cuti system. 

Being a typical Malaysian, I had a hard time accepting the fact in the beginning (lol xp) especially when I was already in LDM. 

Usually, it'll be me going to him once every month for one weekend. You read it right. One weekend. 

Why me? Because I'm the student, so, I still have the privilege to 'ponteng' without hurting the pay. Also, I don't have reputation to care. I think you understand what I'm sayin'.

So, one weekend is definitely not enough to feel sick of each other. haha.

That's why we like to jalan-jalan. The two of us travelling together, the best way to spend quality time. Don't you think so?

Sebenarnye, I had once told him, I hate travelling, I hate leaving KL. I can't even imagine myself living in other states! Where is their MidValley *_*

Then he said he will change me once I married him.

And..right now, I have a list of places I'd like to visit. 

I am so crazy of the ideas of travelling around the world. He made me forget about all the fancy handbags, shoes that I had once fond for. Seriously, travelling is now my no.1 interest. 

Don't you think going places is a better investment than a gold-priced handbag? 

Since he opened my eyes on this matter, I have always tell people around me to go somewhere, experience different things, culture, and the most important to see Allah s.w.t 's creation for us. That is also our responsibilities. It'll make you a better muslim. It'll make you more humble of yourself.

In addition to that, husband also taught me, the best thing to bring back after every visits are memories.

I learnt it the hard way. Just recently I embraced it. So, a good quality camera is all that matters. haha..also, your most expensive accessory; i.e. your loved ones :') 

Anyway, golden week is approaching. Kind of most awaited holiday season for Japanese. At this time, usually tickets will be multiple in price, and the roads will be in total congestions. Common scene lah kan?

I can't tell you how many times I asked him to decide on where to go. 

 I always like the idea of going to Tokyo. That's the only time I can have a decent wardrobe shopping. Tokyo hold many western's branded shop which are relatively cheaper than those of Japanese brands. Unfortunately, in Hiroshima city, there aren't many western's branded shop. Hence..

The last thing I could suggest is..wherever that's involved air travelling. The prices are just absurd. 

Actually, I have prepared a list of places for us to go. Not far la..I did researches, put on the proposals. 

Beliau?blergh...showed no interest at all. But he kept telling me..continue my research. Other places please..

Even though I like doing research for this, but if you kept being rejected..you will feel annoyed and came to the easiest idea; Tokyo! 

As I have already set in my mind, I'm gonna be in Tokyo in this coming golden week (prepared with long tentative)..

last week, he called me from Korea 

"Nak pergi ***** tak Golden week nanti?"

*The place had never came across, never been discussed!It wasn't in my proposals before >,<

I was holding my notebook which is full with scribble of 'yet to do in Tokyo'. 

My reaction?? 

It was exactly like Sheldon's ...

Isteri tukang jahit.

During my student year, not the uni one, when there's a long holiday, I will try doing many things so I don't feel bored. Plus, I can't stand mystery. So, everything that I find curious, I want to get the answer myself.

Mystery in here means er..how should I put it?

For example, I always curious how does it feel of driving? How can people find courage and how finally one can drive? Something like that. That time, I was so curious to try...sewing and crafting!

You know, no one in my family understands what I was doing. But I remember every cloth I used for my sewing project was from my own. Usually I'll use the pants materials to sew pouch and phone case. I also make pencil box out of my baju kurung. All because I don't want to ask money from my parents. All the pocket money I have, I had it spent to buy the sewing kit.

Although I finally had them in shape, they did not look special. Particularly, due to them originating from old cloth. Then I tried to 'beautify' them by patching and embroidery. Mostly I did embroidery because the process made me focus, and I'll forget the trouble I might be having:) I made many cases for my family members and that time I was happy whenever they say 'cantik' and get their old case/pouch replaced with mine:)

No one taught me all that. I just did with trial and error. So, until today, I don't really know the right way to do it.

It's been a long time since I last sew.

Until, I got married.

Boys, they always tore their pants!

How can I live away from you anymore? :'(

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Although it's just coffee.

Omaigod!!!Blogsy awesome nih:')

Assalamualaikum...

Terasss (trust) me..I really wanna write something here, but being a final year doctorate really doesn't do any mercy to any hobby you might have>,< or even time for your loved ones.

So,my tugas now is to really make use of all this busyness to a good use so,it won't be put to waste. In short, mase main, main la dgn kadar 100% masa belajar,cubalah maximizekan potensi anda tu (yea..I can't type 100% coz..that's not gonna happen:/)

(2 days later)

what???.. still that 2 meaningless paragraph?

anyway, I am now so so sleepy. I refused to take caffeine. Not because I purposely avoiding coffee for health reason, but my tekak at the moment just can't swallow kopi tak sedap (yakni, kopi i made by myself:/). The only coffee sedap around this hospital is Starbucks, which..we are currently boycotting.

so, dilemma..hence, this rambling. gahaha..

hey, have you heard about the boycotting, palestine, israel, bla2..

i know, some people find the campaign is cliche. some are being ignorant, and some are acting like pain in the a**.

I shall mention here that my favourite coffee is Starbucks. Boycotting fastfood?I can do that like a pea (macam kacang.lol xp). But having to know I have to start boycotting starbucks?! I found it really really hard to do. my husband is trying so hard to tahan me from buying any. He tried replacing with many others, but I will always have complaints..I know right..I am so..annoying:/ astaghfirullah..

At the time when the issue arises, husband told me about a letter written buy the founder of the Starbucks chain. I did not bother to look for it coz at that time there were so many posters you can find putting up the list of brands we should boycot. So, I guess, the letter does't really matter as I trusted all the lists. Just a few weeks ago, I found that the letter was a hoax. Long story, but the conclusion was, it's a hoax.

Then, I was brought to another link that saying the article saying that letter was a hoax, is a hoax? I was like...what???:/In addition to that, they provided many more proofs on the allegations. so, for now, it's best for me to avoid. I don't know what to tell you, but my choice to boycott is mainly due to moral dilemma in me. Although it's just about coffee.

My first time writing using Blogsy. Awesome!!

Lihat roti John saye ini! Awesome jugak!!*actually, I just wanna try putting pictures from Blogsy. ehe. Just drag? How awesome is that?!;)

Yey! tak ngantuk dah:) Let's continue working;)

Have a nice day everyone! see you again whenever I feel sleepy:')

 

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Reminisce September

‘September’

Around this time last year I had a ‘vacation’, alone, in Jakarta. Not entirely alone. Hubby was there. Working. Sigh..

So, I was just sort of ‘tumpang’ his hotel room while having a “blast” in Jakarta. *Excuse my sarcasms*

I remember that time; I just bought “Dr. In the House” while many others had finished reading it by that time. I tried looking for it at the Amazon or other online bookstores, but none. Anyway, I was thinking to use my Jakarta ‘getaway’ to relax because I was so tired travelling and getting involved with family matters days before that. It was fun though J

All I have in my mind was, to read the huge book till end while relaxing by the pool. For lunch, I would go hunt for various of Jakarta food nearby. After all, my friend claimed this city as Indonesia's “food heaven”. And when I feel bored, I would go shopping pula.

I was there for a week, and I had almost died of boredom just after the second day. Hahaha. Maybe my stay would be better if hubby was around. But he was too busy with work like 24/7. He has to go out at 5.30am to the workplace just to avoid the massive traffic and only arrived back to the hotel at 7.30pm or later. Oh, let me re-phrase; “MASSIVE”. The traffic in KL is nothing compared to there. Be thankful.

And because of the traffic, my shopping appetite was immediately curbed. Good huh. When I woke up (with food already served in the room. My husband is such an angel :’) ), I took some time to observe Jakarta. The view of Jakarta from my room was splendid. Considerably. But when you look down, you’ll see like “a sea” of ‘stranded cars’. Basically, that is how you curb the shopping devil inside of you.haha.

If it wasn’t due to the fact that Tanah Abang closes at 5 (if I’m not mistaken), I would have not going there by myself on working days. So, one of the day, I finally determined to go (with the push of my husband-sebab dia tanak teman la tew >,<). It was Friday, 9 am, just nice when people are supposedly reach their workplace, hence a clearer traffic. I then stayed in Crowne Plaze, next to Semanggi Plaza. It took me 15 minutes by taxi to reach the already congested Tanah Abang.

.............................

Eh jap, I was intended to write about something else >,<

Around this time in the world, people will reminisce on 9/11. Eeeeverybody remembers this event even clearer than their country’s best history, kot. Coz most of the time I just wandering around the hotel with my skirt and slipper, I had a great time watching TV which I could understand what they were saying. haha. Even then, most of the eye-catching programs were of 9/11 stories. I was crying listening to the final telephone calls from husbands, wife, girlfriends, and the most, children to their parents. Putting other perspective aside, it’s such a heartbreaking for any people who had went through a situation where your loved ones is on the phone with you waiting for their final moment. And you can’t even do anything about it. Seconds after that, the line died. That’s when you know they are gone. Sedih gila kot. Nauzubillah..Just thinking about it, I got a heartache..followed by headache.

If only what has happened to our Muslim friends is well covered and documented like this, I’m sure others won’t misunderstand us. And more, they would know what is happening there is definitely incomparable. It is definitely more terrible. The number of life taken maybe 10 times more or maybe 100 times! I do not know.

I did not mean to compare who suffers most. 

I am in mission myself. Although small, I think I have to clear out our name. If I can’t do it to 100 of people, 10 is enough. After all, Allah knows my intention. Therefore, I would be so excited to answer my friend’s questions and islam and my way of life. I tried to answer so that they won’t be ‘afraid’ of us anymore. As a result, we understand each other. Nevertheless, they never asked about 9/11. But they did ask about Syria and what is happening there at the moment since the broke of the latest news; one of Japanese journalist was shot there. The news conquered the prime time for days.

Do you think being born as superman is the only way to change the world to a better place?

You can definitely do it through dakwah too J 

Made in Japan only!

To coffee or tea lover, I'm sure you understand the importance of having a properly served coffee right?

Don't you just love this pot? 

I've been looking for a nice coffee pot like forever.
I've been dreaming for a tea/coffee set, with Japanese element, like months already!
Bosan gila dah kot. lols!
Ada banyak yang cantik but most of them (yang affordable) are made in china!!
wats de poin?>,<
So, yesterday I had guest during tea time.
And guess what, I served them coffee in plastic cup:|
And I have to mentioned "the coffee worth a treasure despite of the cup." I know right..who would say such thing to a guest >,<
Then, in the evening I went out for a matsuri walk with my friend that I stumbled with this cute pot.
Nothing says "I was made in Japan" with the pot.
SIap ada brand kedai kopi yg tak berapa nak best lagi. lols!
But it's cute, high in quality, high durability, light, and......CHEAP!
So, finally I have a decent pot to go with my kawaii coffee cups which I have finally decided to use them, replacing the plastic cup that has been in used for months:| And I have the collection of these pretty sakura cups for quite a long time already.Tapi sayang nk pakai.lols.

I'm not sure

I got myself busy since end of last year. Because of that, I used to skip meals especially lunch. 

If I didn't skip any, my mealtime went haywire. I let myself to be really starving, only then I went looking for food. 

Surprisingly after that, I gained weight and my cycle became irregular.

Went for checkup and the doctor which is my friend here, told me I was fine, the menses were there and I should let myself a little bit loose.

So, she meant I was in stress. Well, I pretty much sure I wasn't that stress:/ 

In here, drugs are not easily handed to you. If nature could take it's course, they will try to let it be, wait a little bit more as long as it does not hurt. 

Not after a month (!), my menses showed themselves. 

What I did was, train myself to be on time for every meal and do light exercise occasionally which got me started doing yoga. Well, I wasn't doing real yoga, just enough to stretch here and there and feel good after that. But that can do. I think.

So, until this moment, I got the weight before I everything became haywire. 

However, I'm not sure whether all of what I just told you are entirely true.

Whether work is the cause. Cause honestly, I still feel that I was pretty much can still handle the workload and pressure. It isn't as hard as people think it is. Maybe, just maybe that was due to my emotional instability after months of separation with you-know-who. Now, we are much closer, I am much much happier, hence the health:)

So, you know..love could pretty much affects you in so many ways.

Be careful to fall in one:)

Have a great day ahead.

Love, 

Wani

Came true.

Dreaming is worth doing.

I am sometimes a hopeless romantic. It's just that sometimes I just keep on dreaming, not really doing anything to realize the tonnes of dreams I had.

One of it, simply killing times with my loved ones, cycling around a beautiful place (like I've seen in movies).

But of course I just think of it as a dream which deserved to be forgotten coz I live in KL..cuaca yang sangat panas begitu sapa je nk join me:/ Maybe possible if just around the park. 

Now I live in a community who prefers biking than driving. yatta!!

And the city is provided with bicycle road, many parks, for me to imagine myself be in a movie. hehe..

I never thought I will be able to do this for hundred days to come. Not to forget the view which is better than what I saw in movies:')

Married to him, a dream came true..

This, is another dream came true.

Alhamdulillah..

What God and them taught me.

I've been meaning to write something of my thoughts, that have been running through my head for weeks.

But as you know, writing thoughts involve brainstorming.

The idea is there, but you need something extra, the spices to help me get the readers to understand what I meant. 

So, to make understand you why I was instead writing a lengthy, soap-opera like series of review; how should I put in sentence? The word 'lazy' may explains it well here. Short and that is it!

In facebook recently, my friend and me has been discussing about how language barrier has affected us here.

She is a chinese. China, chinese. Not a Malaysian Chinese.
Apparently, many people of China (or maybe only her and clans) has the long time idea to achieve and then move out to Japan. So, this idea has been planted in her mind for so long and now she's here, it's a dream came through.

Have you ever thought of once your dream has came through, what would you do? That's it??

Will the dream be anything like what you have imagined it to be? If it is, could you be any happier days after that? Or worst, what if it's not?

In my friend's case, she managed to finally migrated to Japan, achieving her long time ambition. The thing is, little that she knows, there's a big price for her to pay. Working condition disfavor her in many ways. Most of the time, it causes by the people. Well, at least she has achieved her dreams. I told her, bad days only once in a while and there are so many things available to look at, to feel at, to appreciate.

Honestly, my working place is just okay. I think God gave me as such provided that I am so talkative, I did socialize more than study itself (times before Japan). So, by having a condition limiting my expansion of social skills *sila muntah*, I am now more focus to my work, and finally I feel like really doing the study.

Sigh..I know.I should have been doing this years before this, when I was still young. sigh..

So, it's true, Allah may not giving us what we wanted, but He gave us what we needed.

Speaking about what we wanted or dreams, yours truly doesn't really have one. Yeah..you read it right. I don't:/

Befriend with Japanese, I did some background check and ended up feeling so embarrassed of myself. 

They did many things giving the 30 years of life (plus minus, most of them are thirty one year old). 

They achieved many things in their life name it sports, music, arts. They said they got nothing to regret now and with open heart, moving on with bigger things in their mind. 

Because of this, I decided to play piano again. I did many things halfway in my teenage years. And now, it's a regret. They taught me to do things at my best whenever I start doing something and never done it halfway. I saw one of my friend here playing piano (she said it's been years since she last played), and my jaw dropped:| 

That time I was just wanted to start again, watching her (who keeps saying she is not good), I felt like puking and useless. Then I thought, I'm doing it for myself, not to enter any competition:| Then I swallow back the almost there vomit *_* (eww..) 

Think back, I actually had my own ambition. 

Unfortunately, it was not at all associated with science whatsoever. 

*Excuse my keluhan*- Why is this world likes to give standard to people!!Why do I need to be in science course to be with par with people's expectations??- Cries T___T

*wiping tears*

Ok, what passed has passed. I shall start figuring out how to make lemonade out of all the lemons I have right now. 

I envy those who knew what they wanted in life. How they have seen more life has to offer at a very early age. But again, who is me to get stress on all of these. Allah has given me the best I could have.

One thing for sure I want was, to be married with..err..you-know-who :D

But again, I didn't have any dream wedding back then. Still, people made fuss out of it although I had nothing to complaint about. Again..people..other. people.

It's getting lengthy I see.

Don't take my entry as a form of me complaining about my fate.

I believe, there are so many people out there wish to be where I am now. 

For the record, I am so much grateful for where I am, who I am now.

Life is so far my favourite teacher and all of the above written are set as my milestone.

So that every morning, I feel the need to wake up to accomplish one thing at a time and move on.

Their custom, my dilemma

Have you ever heard this saying; you are not yet see the world hadn't you not yet be to Japan?
Oh yes, it's true though.
I just realized it too anyway.
Too many customs.
Despite of this saying; masuk kandang kambing mengembek, masuk kandang err..apa eh lg satu??:| Never mind. The thing is, there are so many customs here that I was taught and expected to follow.
Sometimes I feel so tired to remember all of those. Until I came across another saying that they do not expect foreigners to understand their customs and any broken rules by us are most of the time forgiven and understood. Oh well, they are Japanese. It's in their heart :')
So, when there are times I feel lazy to 'understand' their custom, I just act dumb and not doing it, assumed that they will after all forgive me.
However, most of the time, it's me who ended up feeling guilty:/

I'll give you one situation for example.
I am placed in quite a superior department in my school. I assumed this department is one of those who got a lot of money, hence there are so many functions, formal and lavish I must say, that I have to attend. Almost every month there will be one. The thing is, I know no significance of any of the functions I have been to, except the final year party of course.
But one thing in common of all parties, everybody will take turns, more towards racing to my big boss, to pour him drink (of course the alcohol) and greeted him. Every body does that except yours truly.
I don't understand what, why, how's the process? Hmm..anyways, the situation I just elaborated is what I observed from afar. So, I still don't know what they were doing for real >,<
It such a dilemma for me to be sitting alone at my table looking around for them all eyeing for turn to catch up with my boss.
I hope my boss understands me pretty much as a muslim.
Discussed this with hubby and not a surprise, he also never do that. A relief. But my act was not supported or understood by other foreigners here. They are looking at me as someone who fails to adapt.
Whatever it is, I am quite convinced I was forgiven for probably the millionth times.

Current dilemma was..the new year's custom, whereby everybody will be sending out countless of greeting cards for new year and all the cards supposed to reach the dedicated person on the first day of the year!
Hey, it's Japan. This thing is possible.
What's impossible is me! I was so impossible by not giving out any for 2 years in a row!
I deserved to be bad mouthed:/*no, not a slap please*

Among a few of  my 'still-countable' new year's greeting cards. Every cards was marked with a serial numbers. This serial numbers is like a lucky draw. The post office is now advertising their lucky numbers. Winners can claim their prize at any post office branch. Me?hey..since when I'm that lucky?:| I mean for lucky number la..hehe.. 

I'm trying to not be thinking too much about how 'ignorance' I was.
I decided to put half of the blame to my darling husband because..he kidnapped me to Paris:P
That's why I couldn't go to the post office and send those imaginary greeting cards out!

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Project on Eid Adha

Siapa kata yours truly tak celebrate aidil adha?angkat tangan!
Speculations due to..no photos being uploaded in my fb:P

Before we go into the details, let me start with a reminder. For followers who has been with this blog since last year, you must have been reading this entry.
For the new comer, it would be better if you read the entry first before going through this entry. Then, you will understand the spirit we had for this one, I consider, the biggest project of ours.

So, this is about the International House Festival (I-House Matsuri). Now you know, we've been waiting to execute our dream/plan for a year. We know the day will be some day in November. We started planning the details since early October. Only about 2 weeks before the execution day, I got to know it fell on Eid Adha. The only time I have a strong reason to visit other Malaysians in Saijou (and not feeling awkward T__T). Well, fate brought me again raya in the city again. Exactly like last year. Better this year coz it fell on weekend:D

I have been heading to many projects in my life. This is again another one. Personally I think this is the easiest I had handled. You know what I hate being ketua/manager? I have to be the one to be hated. Lol! XD but yes, we have to sacrifice that much so that everything will be in order. People will come to you and reporting. They don't want to be the one who drop the bomb and show the ugly side. That's where you are most wanted. You have to do what you have to do..ignite the bomb and tear off your 'angelic mask'.

I'm gonna drop the issue here. This entry is not about that T___T

I-house matsuri is held every year in November. This is considered the biggest event organized by the city hall for the foreigner. This is a good opportunity for us to promote our Malaysia.

Overall, this matsuri is divided into two main parts, i.e. Food stand (where you can sell our trademark dishes), and 'I Love my land' booth (whereby this is more like a information counter for locals to learn more about Malaysia. So, it is more educational. To spice up our booth, we provided the visitor with congkak and batu seremban so that they won't be filled to much with theories and just talk:P)
Among these two parts, food stand took most of our energy, money and attention. Due to the money part mostly, we focused more on this (you know..in order to get the money back to.ge.ther. with the profit:P bahahaha). Wakaru?
And...we did:) 

I am not going to exposed the total profit we got here. But I insist you can pm me for details:P

Moving on darlings, I guess the following photos may answer most of your questions:)

I decided to make myself functional behind the counter of the food stand.

Because we are so brilliant..we got the least wanted location..yea..see the people??nampak macam festival tak???yea.ok.that answered T__T

My favourite photo..How Malaysian are we :D

A pose you should avoid. This will only making people passing by to just..pass by >,<

Roti jalan and curry, air bandung and karipap. The chosen Malaysian dishes to be promoted to the Japanese this year. We'll see who's the winner next year pula ye..:D

I was so damn occupied the whole day. Woke up at 530am. Started on roti jala, stop at 9 for solat eiduladha and straight to selling.
Even though it was so tiring, I am looking forward for this project again. Not too long. Just next year:D

Even though I kept saying this project is all about having fun, but I knew deep inside, they feel the pressure. Here, I would like to thank my fellow Malaysians, kawan shopping, kawan tengkar:P for your cooperation, times, ATP, sweats, money and so much of other things that was beyond my knowledge. Arigatou!
I extend my gratitude for Malaysia Tourism, hadn't it not because of them, our Malaysian booth will be just about a table and its cover:P

Jya, see you next year everybody!

What's with me and LDR :/

Speaking of LDR...I refer myself as the expert. If I have to put it on a CV, I pretty much sure I would have the best CV in the whole wide..Google ;P
I have been in LDR since this relationship started (at least at my justification of when it had started :P)

So, total up, 10 years in LDR..I know..please kutip your jaw yang beterabur tu sekarang. Bahaha..
You must be expecting me to be drowned in my own tears by then.

However, back when we were just a couple, I had considerably easy time dealing with LDR. Seriously.
It was very seldom (that I couldn't remember if any) tears came out for whatever purposes related to LDR. To put in words, I am one happy 'heartless' girl (yeah...double meaning :p). To amplify the situation lagi, me and my boyfriend at that time were separated by oceans. He was then studying in Japan while me..where else in Malaysia. He landed home twice a year and that's the only time we date :P and it was always a marathon.

I am still in LDR..sigh..well, rephrase, LDM.
Married for 1 month, I had to move to Hiroshima, located 600km from where our house is located.
Due to Japanese work ethics, getting holidays 'to meet your loved ones' is almost..impossible.
So, we only get to see each other once a month for the longest of 2 nights. If, I got lucky, I can spend more nights during public holidays which is again rare as long as you stay in this country.

I remember the first time I got home to him after moving to Hiroshima. I hoped I would catch flu so that I could stay longer with him. The next day, I woke up with mucus in my nose:P After a week, I still refused to go back to Hiroshima and hubby had to put me in the train :/ *reminds me of how my dad put me in the bus to send me back to my hostel >,<*

My unfortunate events didn't just stop there. My loneliness gets even more exaggerated when I am placed in Kasumi Campus of Hiroshima daigaku which apparently located far far away from the main campus. The main campus is where you can find many foreigners especially Malaysians who came here to do engineering related studies, unlike yours truly. While in this campus, very scarce number of Malaysians who also living like me..work 24/7. There are only...4 of us. Out of that, 2 muslim.

My husband was hoping I have a good social life so that I can do just fine like I had survived LDR when I was in Malaysia.

We both think I did great back in couple years because I was surrounded by families, lots of friends, hectic social life (:p) and also..many things took my attention away! Sometimes he has to beg me for some time to be spent with him on skype. It was so much different back then which made me think I have no problems being in LDR. Dosa pun kurang kan :D

Tapi now, the level of LDR I am in is so much tougher..The test given are getting absurd. That made us realize Allah's plan for us is beyond imagination. We thought this is it. The toughest test is probably this. LDM, 600km apart, once a month, 2 nights, thousands of ringgit for transportation monthly. However, that is not just it. Hubby is now sent to Jakarta for outstation for 6 months. When I heard the news, I felt numb. You know why?Because I am trying to fill up the battery of 'kesabaran' immediately. I know there is no use of what?crying?nothing can be changed. We chose this path and there is no way of turning back. We have to finish what we have started. After all, it's for his own good. He is too young to live just for love. I then, let him go. From waiting period of one month, now, 6 month. Which means, I have to melipatkaligandakan kesabaran and kekuatan for 6 times when in truth, I don't have both anymore.

I was called to write on my version of LDR after reading one of my dear friend on tips for LDR. Read it!it was indeed fulfilling :)
I questioned myself why didn't I ever came out with list of tips like that considering my weird relationship with LDR :/
The answer is..I have none. I stayed by him (although not by him) and so does him all because of the four letters; L.O.V.E.


That's for the tips.

Good day!

B-brings the boys out!

I wasn't aware it was already 10p.m when I finally breath over the accomplished mission of the day. Well, it was indeed a very productive day for me:)

As I was cycling, my heart couldn't stop singing the beat of..The Boys from Girls Generation.

Apparently, I was 'drugged' by this song played over and over by my colleague =,=

So many attempts of drugging me with k-pop songs all over the years name it from hubby, my friends, sibling..it never worked.
But this song..made me wanna dance again >,<

Fine! I promise myself to learn step of this song maybe in a month :D

Geez....macam banyak je masa ko ni Wani >,<